I don't disagree that bi/homosexuality and gender nonconformity are correlated BUT there are a very huge number of straight people, especially straight women who are gender nonconforming. This has to do with how strict gender roles for women were in the past and how incompatible life currently is with those roles. For example, gender roles say a woman should stay home and shit out kids and be a good housewife. Meanwhile, the economy says, you can barely survive in a dual income household with two people, even without kids. Meanwhile, more and more women are thinking, "why do I even need to be married and be a slave to a baby and some kids, and work, and come home and do housework, and the husband does nothing, just because I'm a woman?" This makes no sense at all. It isn't because they are bi/homosexual, it's because this world and those gender roles no longer make any sense together.

I would argue that it's more like this:

A significant portion of bi/homosexuals are gender nonconforming, we know because we can see them with our own eyes. However we don't know what percent of bi/homosexuals are gender conforming, because they blend in with heterosexuals, and we don't know what they are unless they tell us.

And a significant portion of straight women are gender nonconforming to some degree, because gender roles and reality are no longer compatible with each other.

Here is another example. Gender roles in the past said all girls have to be virgins before marriage, but boys are expected to be having sex before marriage and "sowing their wild oats." So who are all these boys supposed to be having sex with? Each other? So girls were put in a position where they either have to be "Good girls" and wait until marriage, or they go against artificial gender roles to follow their natural bodily urges and have sex, and roll the dice, either the guy they do it with will end up being a good guy and marry them, or at least not tell anyone. Or he'll be an absolute piece of shit and ruin her reputation and destroy her life. So of course women rebelled against this. It's not because they are homosexual, it's because the gender role was stupid, oppressive, and made no sense.

Also, for a lot of both straight and L/B women, gender nonconformity is rooted in internalized misogyny. Some of us call it "Not like the other girls syndrome." And that's a completely different beast that needs to be addressed in a separate conversation.

Also, when you pull the focus back from America and look worldwide, many gender roles just completely crumble apart. In many countries and cultures, women aren't shaving their body hair. Men have long hair and wear garments that would be considered skirts or feminine. In my country men shave their armpits and wear pink. When you pull the focus back even further and look at the world across the centuries, gender roles crumble even more. Around 150 years ago, "pink is for girls, blue is for boys" wasn't even a thing.

Anyway, I'm not able to address all your points right now, because I'm tired, maybe I'll come back tomorrow and do an new comment when my thoughts aren't so scattered. I just wanted to share some thoughts. This gender role stuff has SOOOO MANY different pieces to it.