Gay MenNot being attracted to transmen doesn’t make you transphobic. : askgaybros

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[–]AreYouSureee 32 insightful - 12 fun32 insightful - 11 fun33 insightful - 12 fun -  (5 children)

« If you stopped your PSA at the title, I would have agreed with you. But unsurprisingly, your language about the topic is transphobic. not being attracted to trans people indeed does not make you transphobic. But your insistence that trans people with a vagina are “biological women” is inaccurate. Genitalia are not the deciding factor of someone’s gender. Trans men are men, trans women are women. It’s fine you’re not attracted to them, but please make an effort to think of them as the gender in which they identify and not what you believe their “biological sex” to be. It’s the decent thing to do.»

🙄🙄🙄

[–]hufflepuff-poet 47 insightful - 3 fun47 insightful - 2 fun48 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

I hate the "it's the decent thing to do" argument. We don't validate any other mental illness, we don't tell anorexics-- yeah you do look a little fat in those jeans?! Why is it okay to validate THE BIGGEST MENTAL DELUSION, and ask everyone else to actively participate in lying and denying our most basic reality, this is so dangerous.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 31 insightful - 2 fun31 insightful - 1 fun32 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Exactly. We tried doing the "decent thing" by humoring Transsexuals and then Transgenders for many years and that's why we're in this situation right now. What we did wasn't the decent thing, it was the LAZY thing. We knew deep down these people were cray-cray but we were okay with them living a delusional, miserable lifestyle filled with mental illness, obsessive thoughts, and anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation, so long as they didn't bother us with it. And now here we are. They are bothering us with it, and what can we do?

[–]windrunner[S] 29 insightful - 3 fun29 insightful - 2 fun30 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

these people are fucking delusional, no, really. "[M]ake an effort to think of them as the gender in which they identify" like??? they are delusional and living in a bubble far far far from reality and want other people to participate into their delusions so that they can "be validated". it's ridiculous. if I identify as a unicorn and desperately want other people to believe in that that does not make me a fucking unicorn. (and apparently if I state that I'm an unicornphobic) seriously?

this is why the LGB NEEDS to drop the T.

[–]julesburm1891 18 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

TRAs: see above

Also TRAs: No one is saying that sex isn’t real!

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

How the hell does "gender" = get-out-of-(bio sex)-jail-free card???

Cuz (first of all): genitalia-- or, more specifically, indicators of biological sex, meaning sex characteristics both primary (genitalia) and secondary-- IS the deciding factor of someone's gender; THAT'S HOW GENDER WORKS. Indeed, that's what gender is, and always has been. A pair of social roles (the male gender-role and the female gender-role), defined and imposed by society, which automatically apply based on one's observed biological sex. Gender, in other words, is in the eye of the BEHOLDER, not oneself. And as soon as the beholder perceives your biological sex, you are gendered accordingly.

If this weren't the case, don't you think that women/girls desperate to escape the most oppressive effects of the female gender-role would normally just declare, "oh, my gender identity is male!" and get an instant opt-out? THIS IS WHY THAT WON'T WORK.

The other reason why it (and the "trans" brand of gender-- self-defined and self-applied-- as a whole) won't work: "gender" is INHERENTLY impersonal. That's the entire point! Each gender-role is a set of stereotypes dictating who you are allowed to be. You need to fit it, not the other way around. So this attempted "trans" rebranding of gender as its polar opposite-- the embodiment of all that's free, creative, fun, and above all individualistic-- makes absolutely no sense. It's like trying to turn RACIAL stereotypes into the essence of personal expression. WTF??? How can this sort of thing not be doomed to failure? And why even bother trying to repurpose something that's regressive and cruel to the core?

So let's apply the above here: "think of them as the gender in which they identify and not what you believe their "biological sex" [sic] to be".

Well, first, gender is DETERMINED by their biological sex. If you can perceive whether they're male or female... too late! Gendering already happened. Them's the rules. Don't like it? Then you obviously DON'T BELIEVE IN GENDER. So shut the hell up about it!

Second, since I'm convinced that "gender" is just so much pernicious bullshit, this would mean thinking of them as... what? Wrong, clearly; beholden to stereotypes? Backward? Subscribers to a dangerous ideology? To be pitied? Probably some combination of these. So that oughtta be A-OK with the trans-stan who made this request.

Third, since sexual orientation is entirely a matter of biological sex (your own + that of those to whom you're attracted = sexual orientation) and has fuck-all to do with "gender", "trans" must be fine about their automatic exclusion from everyone else's dating pool, right? Cuz we're to ignore their sex, and gender is irrelevant. No basis for sexual attraction on our end, then! Win/win!