"we can have trans only spaces, but you can't have single sex spaces" - trans person, as is typical, can't understand why lgbdropthet is a thing

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[–]julesburm1891 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

So, my girlfriend and I were talking with two of our gay friends a couple of days ago about how frustrated we are with trans people taking over the community and demanding us to change our sexual orientations. We all came to the conclusion that trans people can’t be gay and need to stay out of our spaces. I had the same conversation with my gay uncles last night and they had also come to the same conclusion.

I know this is anecdotal and only encompasses six people. However, if six liberals who have always supported the trans community have peaked in the past year, I think we’ll probably see a whole lot more LGB peaking. The trans community can keep acting the way they do and brushing us off as “a handful of transphobes.” But, they’re going to wake up one morning in the future and wonder why the overwhelming majority of LGB want them to fuck off.

[–]8bitgay 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I'm in a similar situation too. I have always been supportive of trans people. Many trans people get kicked out of their houses and suffer violence just for being trans. I really can't agree with that. I had a trans friend (we lost contact over time) and I felt empathy for his stories of dysphoria. This old friend of mine was against the idea that gays/lesbians should date trans, by the way.

But hell, agreeing that they have a right to live is different from agreeing that they have a right over other people's sexuality. Somehow "gays need to date FtM / lesbians need to date MtF" turned into the major point of conversation. And let's be real: that's the actual reason they want to be in our spaces so much. A FtM wouldn't fight so much to be in a gay space if he was totally fine with just being friends with the gay men in that space. A lesbian wouldn't use Grindr to make friends with gays.

You don't see gays/lesbians demanding that straight people should date us. You don't see gays/lesbians demanding to be represented in straight porn. You don't see gays/lesbians demanding that movements of other minorities should focus on us instead.

I wonder if an overwhelming majority of LGB will ever be upfront about this, though. I can't say for lesbians, but there is a lot of internalized homophobia among gay men. When you have a sense of inferiority about your own sexuality, it's hard to stand up for it.

Also, lesbian couple with gay uncles? That seems adorable, best of life for you all!

[–]windrunner 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You don't see gays/lesbians demanding that straight people should date us.

We also don't call straight people homophobics because they don't want to date/sleep with us BECAUSE WE'RE GAY.

We also don't threaten physical and sexual violence on straight women when they don't agree with us/or even when they are homophobic.

We don't compare them to nazis.

We don't demand their spaces or spaces that only cater to them.

But I know a group that does all of this and more.

[–]8bitgay 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And frankly the community doesn't even admit it. They'll spend the day saying these things, but when confronted about it people will say "oh no, nobody is forcing you to date trans", "nobody actually says that", etc.

I don't know at this point if people are lying to others or just lying to themselves and pretending not to see things. Probably both.

[–]julesburm1891 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yes! My uncles are great. They were so supportive of me as a teenager and have been a big part of my adult life. I’m very lucky to have them.

[–]Astrid2448 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have a similar story from this past weekend. My wife (bisexual) visited her brother and mentioned that I (lesbian, Astrid) had gotten a lot of hate from within the LGBT community before because of this trans stuff. Her brother is a straight macho dude, the type who lifts and builds things. Apparently he responded like “haha, that trans stuff is crazy, these days it’s the gay people who really hate all that stuff”. We’re all in our mid-20s.

Something is definitely changing.