VioletRemi, I am sorry for all the pain you've been through. I wish all the best, I really do.

I am frustrated by the hue and cry over El Page and her being characterized as the total victim of her totally evil partner coz I think Emma P is being demonized in a weirdly sexist way. I'd prefer to see no woman is demonized.

Young lesbians demonizing a woman for not being sufficiently lesbian is not in my view - or the view of many of my lesbian friends of older generations - a good look or a good sign. What ever happened to giving people and especially other women the benefit of the doubt - and to giving young people, again especially women, the chance to come into their own? After all, Emma Porter today is younger than El Page was when Page came out. So why the double standard? It seems to me the rich and famous Hollywood star is being judged by one set of criteria, and the not rich or famous partner is being held to a different - and much higher - set of criteria.

I also don't think it's really a step forward for some young lesbians to rush to judgment and blame all the mental health problems and internalized misogyny displayed by their fave Hollywood celebrity lesbian on the celeb lesbian's female partner/spouse.

As Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn pointed out a half century ago, there are no human beings who are all good or all evil: the capacity for good and evil runs through the heart of every human being.

I am also frustrated over the El Page Pure Victim/ Emma Porter Pure Villain black and white binary and the idea that as a lesbian in the 21st century El Page faced insurmountable odds coz as an older woman, I see enormous differences between the animus and discrimination that lesbians and gay men faced in the 1950s, 60s, 70s and 80s and what is going on today.

So much of the homophobia, lesbophobia, sexism and rigid sex stereotyping that is causing younger generations so many problems seems to be coming from younger people themselves/yourselves - not from us older folks. In other words, it seems often to be peer-to-peer prejudice. Not just prejudice that us awful, bigoted oldsters are imposing on younger people.

But it's best I leave this convo. The perspective I try to add seems only to be interpreted in a negative light.

Again, I am sorry for all the hurt and difficulty you've experienced in your life coz of your sexual orientation. Even though I didn't suffer lesbophobia earlier in my life, I've been through a lot of pain, hardship, sexist treatment, sex discrimination and sexual harassment over the course of my too. I've also been raped, and sexually assaulted in a number of other ways. I know full well, as most women regardless of our sexual orientation do, what it's like to be a teen girl/young woman full of hatred and loathing for our female bodies. And now that I'm an older woman, I'm getting to experience a whole new set of problems - ranging from new forms of body discomfort/loathing from within my own psyche to animus from and discrimination by others.