Because the people doing the dismissing are mostly teens and young people whose still-developing brains cause them to be unable to comprehend that adults might have gone through the same sort of adolescent struggles. And coz so many of them seem to be narcissists too.

Another factor is the very word "identity" - which nowadays is being used as it's never been used previously.

Used to be, teens and young people spoke of "finding yourself," "figuring out who you are," "developing a sense of self" and of struggling with "self-image," "self-concept" and "self-esteem." These were mainly internal, private processes. But today the whole focus is putting on a big public display in which you embrace, announce and show off your "identity" - which is usually just a bunch of labels (and sometimes looks) that have been taken pre-packaged off the internet.

Of course, in the past kids and teens looked to find their own tribe/group and bonded with others over shared interests. Young people have always been dividing up into and aligning with groups: jocks, mods, greasers, hippies, rockers, freaks, punks, druggies, goths, emos, homeboys, gang bangers, cool kids, nerds, science geeks, AV club members, political activists, vegans, animal-rights crusaders, fans of this or that sports team or band... and so on. But young people used to form and joins these groups usually over shared interests in some topic or activity that was external and apart from themselves and was done collectively: listening to music, going to concerts, sharing records, learning all the new dances, going to the record store; drag racing; hanging out getting high; getting together to have parties or rumbles, to make mischief or go on protest marches, to play sports or go exploring or just sit around for hours at a greasy spoon. Now it all seems totally individualistic and atomized coz so much of the "connection" and "finding your people" is being done via screens from the solitude of kids' bedrooms or their parents' basements.

At the same time, so much of all this talk of "my identity" that young people nowadays are spouting comes off as anything but authentic. To me, most of it sounds like canned hooey that's totally phony - borrowed from external sources and then rehearsed and regurgitated. These kids strike me as entirely outer-directed, not at all inner-directed.

What's more, nothing about so many young people's deepest feelings and thoughts and inner life is kept private or internal anymore. As soon as adolescents and young people today have a thought or feeling, no matter how flimsy or fleeting or how cliched or borrowed and unoriginal it is, it has to be share immediately on Tumblr, Tik Tok, Instagram or YouTube. Used to be, kids expressed themselves in diaries, journals, drawings, doodles - which then were hidden and locked away so no one else could see them. In fact, most kids and teens would have been mortified by the thought of anyone else seeing what they'd written/drawn.

With the spread of queer theory, it seems the ideas about everything being just a performance put on for others that the likes of Judith Butler espoused are actually starting to become more and more true. For a brief while, at least. But it can't last forever coz age and reality eventually will intrude and all the charades, play-acting, FT LARPing and nattering on endlessly about "identities" will have to come to an end.