Thanks for being polite. Sorry if I have been short and harsh with you. But this is a thread in which a woman in a terrible situation due to the selfish behavior of her male partner came seeking support - at a time when the whole world is applauding, centering and doting on men like her male partner whilst women like her are being told to STFU and just put the men's need to indulge their sexual fetishes first. Yet you and another male poster have tried to make the thread all about how sorry everyone should feel for MEN coz MEN have problems and issues too.

Five days ago, before you made your first post I made a post that said in part:

I find it worrying that on a thread on which the OP, a woman, has asked for support in dealing with her partner's AGP, one poster has used this as an opportunity to thump his chest and tell us how masculine and straight he is...

OP, sorry your thread has gotten derailed. I made a long post offering what I hope is support. IMO, offering support is all we posters should be doing here.

After that, you made your first post theorizing out of the thin air that the OP's partner's gaslighting, lying and utterly selfish, abusive and irresponsible behavior to her and their children was probably coz he felt stalled in his career at mid-life and was frustrated for not living up to what you called "the masculine mystique." Which only showed you have no understanding whatsoever of the the nature, etiology, manifestations and trajectory of the obsessive male sexual fetish called autogynephilia, or the damaging, often devastating impact it has on these men's female partners and children, as well as on others in their lives. And it showed you have no clue about what it's like for women to live under coercive control or with a male narcissist, either.

Worse, you recommended that the OP read

"Getting to Yes" by Roger Fisher and William Ury; it is their attempt to translate the tactics that diplomats used for managing relationships between countries into principles individuals can use in their day-to-day lives.

As if women in intimate relationships with emotionally abusive autogynephilic men just need to brush up on their diplomacy skills and adopt a more positive, collegial, accommodating attitude towards these men so they can "get to yes." When the reality is, what women like the OP need to say to the men in their lives is, NO, just no!

Now you say

I agree that I don't have a clue about women's experience; after all, I can't experience being a woman

You don't have to experience being a woman to learn about or obtain an understanding of women's experiences! You just have to listen to women. And see us. Which means stop spending all your time focusing and sympathizing exclusively on men. Or at least stop coming to forums for GC feminists and our male allies and attempting to turn the convo on a support thread for a woman dealing with toxic man into a discussion that centers men's feelings and problems.

Most of us have an awareness and understanding of the experience of people who are very different from us - not just by sex, but by age, nationality, race, religion, and so on. Coz we are curious about others. We read books about and by people different to us. We watch documentaries and movies about people in different cultures and different time periods. And coz empathy is a thing. I've never been a whaler in the 19th century, a Chinese farmer in the early 20th century, a Hobbit, a victim of the Holocaust, an astronaut, or a young boy growing up in Afghanistan under the Taliban - but coz of stories by and about such folks I feel have some understanding of their experience.

You can easily get an understanding of what women in OP's shoes are going by making use of all the informative links I included in my very first post up at the top of the thread, as well as the later one containing links to two eye-opening videos.

There are tons of "trans widows" out there who are telling their stories of how their families and own lives have been damaged by their male partners' AGP. Children of these men are starting to coming forward and tell what they've suffered too coz of their dads' selfish, exclusive focus on pursuit of their own sexual pleasure and narcissistic fantasy lives. These women and children need to listened to, given support, and encouraged to make this their theme song: https://youtu.be/ccenFp_3kq8

Again, sorry I am so sharp. But every place on the internet that women try to give and get support for issues and problems we are dealing with coz we are women gets invaded by men who try to derail and make the convo all and only about men.