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[–]MarkTwainiac 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Since you asked for advice, here's mine:

1) Pick your battles.

2) Be aware that none of us can change anyone else's minds. Each of us can only change our own minds - and to do that we have to be open to hearing other ideas, taking in new information, confronting our own biases, and seriously asking ourselves whether or not we and our views might be inaccurate, only partially true, or totally wrong, after all.

Many people are not open to any of this. I suspect your friend is in this category. Most gender ideologues are not interested in an exchange of ideas, they just want to assert what they think is the truth and get their own way. Hence their mantra "no debate!"

3)"How to be persuasive" is a huge topic. Lots of info out there. But my advice would be, first familiarize yourself with all the different kinds of arguments, methods of reasoning, rhetorical devices, fallacies and such there are. Then find your own style - or set of styles - that you're most comfy with.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhetorical_device

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argument

https://thebestschools.org/magazine/15-logical-fallacies-know/

https://human.libretexts.org/Courses/Arapahoe_Community_College/ACC%3A_English_121-_Composition_1/06%3A_Argument_(Boylan_et_al)/6.4%3A_What_are_the_Different_Types_of_Argument_in_Writing

https://www.rlf.org.uk/resources/different-types-of-argument/

https://writtent.com/blog/17-powerful-persuasive-writing-techniques/

4) Jane Clare Jones is a very clever thinker and writer who is able to convey her points very persuasively, in part because she uses humour and anger along with her fierce intelligence. I suggest reading everything on her website, starting with this:

https://janeclarejones.com/2018/11/13/the-annals-of-the-terf-wars/

5) See point 1 again: Pick your battles. Don't waste time tilting at windmills.

[–]Skipdip[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ok I actually read this earlier and started responding, but then I stopped because I didn’t know exactly how to respond. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me. I feel a lot of truth in this here. I really needed to accept 1 and 2. I finally have been coming around to them. As far as the other part I think I actually have a fresh, yet recycled, perspective on that. I hit this wall in my personal relationships and realized I have to do a 180. I checked out the logical fallacies thing and I plan to really learn them nice and good. But as I am now, I already have a pretty good grasp intuitively. I can tell when they are happening, or if I am doing them. But also I feel like when I approach a conversation about this planning it out in my head, I could never actually accomplish my goal of getting them to see my perspective. Me winning a math competition against them is not gonna make them listen to me more. So actually what I need to do is listen to them and put myself in their shoes, and stop trying to fix them or tell them what to believe. Even though it doesn’t feel fair that I should have to meet them 100% of the way and do 100% of the effort, by certain measures it is completely fair. Also I need to let go of my fear that I am wrong. If I am right and I discovered the truth then I don’t need to be afraid because it will stand up to the most exhaustive scrutiny. I should welcome their skepticism and criticism because those are both noble things, and I know when they are genuine they cannot hurt me. I need to enter their reality where I am the insensitive bad guy, and feel it emotionally. Because honestly it is my fault that I acted against natural law. I preached natural law but acted against it. That’s why nature rose up and kicked me in the ass like the great compassionate mirror that it is. It is a common fault of youth to be so brazen, proud, and idealistic, but nonetheless it doesn’t mean it was ok how I treated people.

Pardon the rambling. Thinking aloud here.