Most of the “I’m not a feminist” women I know are well-aware that misogyny exists. (Ask any American conservative woman 35+ what she thought about the media’s treatment of Sarah Palin back in 2008.) But they’re also well-aware that, unlike Mr. Rogers, mainstream feminism does not “like them just the way they are.”

They’re against abortion, or at least against some element of the pro- choice movement’s ideal set of abortion laws - they think it should be illegal after twelve weeks, or a minor’s guardians should always be notified. They have strong ties to religions that feminists told them were patriarchal or oppressive. They have stories about feminists shaming them for being stay-at-home moms. They suspect feminists think they’re dumb and brainwashed. They think feminists focus too much on “manspreading” and not enough on serious issues like honor killings or FGM. They see feminism as a clique for upper-middle-class liberals and they don’t want to join.