"Not My Cup of T" - New Documentary Explores the Impact of the Rise of Gender Transition | 4W

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[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

After I was cancelled for my “transphobia,” (a term I fail to understand or associate with) I started taking a closer look at the way Western countries were influencing Indian “queer movement.” Suffice to say that the woke liberals with their bottomless acceptance of every oppression as long as it is a woman’s “choice,” accepted this erasure of women and lesbians too. As I watched the accounts with anime characters post violent ‘kill terfs' GIFs to my tweets, I was hit with a sinister realization...

And

Donovan Cleckley summarized in his tweet: Most of the “they/them” people whom I’ve met have been female, most often “queer,” but seemingly pretty straight, not perceivably gender-nonconforming, not gender-dysphoric at all, and have worn “gender identity” as a special fashion statement to say “I’m not like other girls.” I predict something similar is brewing in India too because being a woman is just not enough; it is too vanilla. The women/ trans rights activists who came after me were pro pornography, believe “sex work” is empowering, and their desperate attempts to be anything but a ‘woman’ was lost on me.

With all these thoughts bearing down on me, I made the most of this pandemic and decided to make a lockdown documentary. My upcoming film, Not my cup of T will take a critical look at the way anglosaxon countries allowed young girls to get medical intervention with absolutely no regulation.

[–]vitunrotta 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

too vanilla

(First off, needless to say this doc will be a VERY interesting watch. Looking forward to it.)

...But I will now make a point about the usage of the word VANILLA. I have come to loathe it. (Rant incoming!)

"Vanilla sex" is the most infuriating thing as it implies that if you're not into kinks and being choked during sex etc. you're having wrong kind of sex, something tedious under the blankets in the dark, and you're probably ashamed of your sexuality and whatnot. You're basically a Victorian era moralist prude with your LAME sexual desires.

I personally happen to prefer a much more sensual approach towards sex, because guess what, for most women it just WORKS that way - instead of shoving dicks into every orifice, as deep as possible and pounding them like a beef steak. Ugh. And the stigmatization of being vanilla will inevitably make especially young girls think there's something off-putting about their sexual preferences if they happen to not love anal sex, for example.

It's maddening. I gladly did not grow up when the pornification of our entire society had become such a fad BUT I am still young enough to have had my share of guys who had watched a lot of porn and wanted to try a lot of things that would essentially cause them pleasure - and cause me pain. I was smart enough to refuse these ~kinky~ experiments though.

I feel profoundly sorry for the young girls and women who are being force-fed this nasty idea that unless you want a guy to slap you around during sex etc., you're vanilla and therefore, a tedious killjoy. It took me years to find out that I am actually VERY vanilla, and that - SURPRISE! - there is absolutely nothing wrong with it at all. The younger generation will likely require a lot more time to overcome this brainwashing and find out about their true sexuality and what arouses them.

Bit off topic, but hey, when a rant needs to come out, one must let it out. :D

[–]MarkTwainiac 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Great rant!

Also: when people use vanilla as a diss, I wonder if they've ever tasted real vanilla from vanilla beans. Seems they don't know that of all the spices and flavorings, genuine vanilla is one of the most prized and precious - and it's second only in saffron in price.

https://recipes.howstuffworks.com/food-facts/vanilla-so-expensive.htm

I imagine that those who use vanilla in this way have only tasted some artificial vanilla-type flavoring cooked up in a lab.

On the other hand, perhaps they use vanilla as a pejorative - especially when it comes to sex - because at some subliminal level they are dimly aware that the word vanilla is linked to/comes from the word vagina?

According to the Oxford dictionary, vanilla originated in the mid 17th century from the Spanish vainilla "pod," a diminutive of vaina "sheath or pod," which in turn derives from Latin word vagina "sheath."

Given its etymology, I'd say that the using vanilla as a pejorative in any context is inherently misogynistic, & the idea that "vanilla sex" is sex that is uncool, boring and inferior is a slur against sex that involves a vagina - and centers & is pleasing to many of us people with vaginas.

[–]moody_ape 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

i wish i could like this a million times. i have completely given up on having a normal heterosexual life because of this. i don't like sex and it's not because i'm a prude or i1m repressed. i just cn't stand the demanding attitude of men in bed. i'd rather masturbate. my orgasms are garanteed (at least one) and i don't have to deal with a man trying to break my boundries over and over. that is so annoying and off putting.

[–]vitunrotta 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

i'm a prude or i1m repressed

This, so much this. Suddenly even proper foreplay is something silly apparently. "Why are you taking so long" wah wah. Let's just start POUNDING right? That's the only way to have sex! It's just hydraulics! And if a woman doesn't want to get choked on a dick they're just ~repressing~ their sexuality and all that nonsense. Grr.

I cannot blame you one bit for not wanting to even try to have a sex life with men nowadays. I take you are a bit younger? (I myself am in my mid-thirties, so I feel like I managed to escape the worst pornkink sex where women are nothing but holes, although, as mentioned I did have a couple of weird experiences.)

I actually knew a woman - younger than me - whose boyfriend apparently never managed to have an orgasm UNLESS he'd start instantly fucking her while she was still dry as the Sahara desert. She told me it would always hurt a lot (...because of course...) but that she needed to do it in order to please her man. Me and another mutual female friend tried telling her that this was NOT okay, it sounded more like rape than sex, but alas: nothing mattered but The Man. She'd never had an orgasm, she told us. (Big surprise.)

This was about a decade ago and I am really fearing that this sort of attitude, from both men and women, will become more and more normalized. A woman is just a bunch of holes, ready to "receive" a penis - or many, in some cases. Utter disgrace.

(But hey, nothing wrong with masturbation, at least that way you know you are in VERY safe hands! :D)

Edit: wording

[–]moody_ape 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

we're not that far from each other: i'm 31. i've had few sexual partners and none of them were good. there was one who put an effort because he really wanted to give me pleasure (the one who took my virginity), but it didn't work. it just hurt everytime we had sex. there was another one with whom i managed to feel pleasure ONCE, amidst pain, with a looot of concentration to focus on the pleasure instead of the pain. this one was careful not to hurt me, but he couldn't care less about my pleasure. he asked for blowjobs (and sometimes i'd give them without him asking) and never once offered me one in return (i was too shy to ask... i should have, maybe he would have done it). to me, sex = pain. i just can't relax with someone i barely know and i cannot trust men. all my experiences were with men who lied or ommited something from me to get what they wanted. there's no benefit for me to engage with them and on top of that, it can be a dangerous and traumatic experience. to me casual sex is: best case scenario, i'll have bad sex, worst case scenario i'll be raped and murdered.

[–]MarkTwainiac 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

vitunrotta - please consider posting your rant to start/as its own thread. I think it would prompt interesting, important discussion.

[–]vitunrotta 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Done! ;)