RANT: I am really tired

submitted by Agodachi from (self.GenderCritical)

I feel so conflicted with everything gender related. I want to support people to do whatever they want; love who you want, be who you want, wear what you want, do whatever you want to your own body. Sometimes I desperately want to support trans and nonbinary people like I did before because I feel so guilty when I see all my friends and classmates preaching about TRANS LIVES and sharing all those trans petitions and gofundmes on Twitter. Whenever they speak about issues over lunch or whatever, I nonchalantly go along with it. I remember preaching the same things they did in early high school, and I truly felt the words I would speak. Now, I would feel so uncomfortable and disingenuous speaking their phrases out loud.

Of course, growing up we all (HOPEFULLY) become more critical and aware of the consequences of our actions. I can't stand how there are such detrimental effects of gender on kids. It's so regressive to tell a gay boy, "well because you like to hang around girls more, YOU MUST BE A GIRL!! :)" Just like in Iran, it further makes being gay, lesbian, or bisexual some 'dirty' thing that needs to be 'fixed,' all this LBG erasure is so depressing. On top of all of this, the reasons for transitioning are either due to fetishes, racism, self-hatred, with only a few people actually suffering from gender dysphoria. And those with actual dysphoria need to get therapy, not mutilate and drug their bodies.

Although I am much more critical of all this gender theory, I still feel guilty. Maybe I'm dramatic, but I feel quite lonely at times too. I can't really talk to anyone about these things. All I see nowadays is a new generation being raised by fetishists and hypocrites to hate and destroy their bodies under the guise of progression. I worry for these children, I worry for mine that I plan to have in the future, I worry for society.

Do other GC feminists feel this way?

(Sorry if my post is disorganized)

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[–]blahblahgcer 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

Same. I am so, so sick of seeing trans issues everywhere. Everyone I know is becoming trans. I just want to go one day without hearing of it.

It's even worse because I was nonbinary for a year so I know the inner workings of it and can see how bad it is. But I can't say anything. It makes me want to avoid everyone. Seeing how my childhood best friend and I went from both iding as nonbinary last year to me desisting and her going full ftm is so sad and unnerving.

But I always worry about if I'm on the right side of history. I dont know anyone who's also gender critical. Everyone is so obsessed with trans things. And I want people to be happy and be free and stuff but idk. I just feel conflicted a lot

[–]SameOldBS 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

If obliterating women turns out to be the right side of history, then it's not a HIStory I want to be in.

[–]Agodachi[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's sad to see womanhood being redefined and regurgitated while manhood isn't being affected in the same way.

[–]sisterinsomnia 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It is not possible to predict what the right side of history will be. All we can do is to try to be as honest, clear and compassionate (in the Buddhist sense) in our thinking as possible and to keep testing our basic values.

There are cases where the rights or desires of different people stand in clear conflict, and the way forward in such cases is to openly discuss this conflict and to try to find solutions to it. The right way forward is not to try to stifle all debate or to just ignore the rights /desires of one side. Similar cases come when religious rights clash with, say, women's rights.

I have no idea how the future will look, but I am completely certain that we are right now seeing social contagion and something similar to those historical events where one cause or issue suddenly swamped everything else for a certain length of time and then petered off. Because of the Internet this particular contagion is much more widespread and because of the profit incentives in it for the medical industry it may take longer for it to fade to some much lower level.

[–]Agodachi[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Being compassionate is important. A lot of people who peak state that they realized that GC people aren't as bad as TRAs paint these TERFs out to be.

I suppose it makes me feel better when I think about how in the past, people who spoke out against religion were considered heretics and nowadays (at least in Western society) that no longer happens. Also with things like leeches and how doctors used to throw those suckers on every chance they got but it didn't help, and now that isn't standard medical practice. It at least gives me home that in a few years these instant transitions will come to an end.

[–]DistantGlimmer 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I think the view that there's a "right side of history" and that the "good guys" always win in the end is dangerous and simplistic. I think we just have to follow our own moral compass and stand with what we know is right for the largest number of people. GC people are not actually transphobic no matter how much they try to paint it that way. GC doesn't hate people simply for expressing themselves differently or being mentally ill or anything else that would be obviously bigoted.

I do believe that there's a cultish element to it and the people who are sucked in to the cult thinking are currently blind to that. It's morally wrong to knowingly go along with cultish brainwashing just because it may make some people happy in the short term

[–]Agodachi[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

You have a very valid point there. Life is so complex there really isn't a way to simplify it into a "right" or a "wrong" side. And I have noticed that a majority or GC feminists are not transphobic, but the TRAs and their allies paint us in that way.

[–]DistantGlimmer 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It suits the TRA narrative to paint GC as just transphobic. Acknowledging any nuance in it would just get some people to actually listen to what GC feminists have to say and TRAs definitely don't want that because their arguments do not hold up to any kind of scrutiny.

[–]Agodachi[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Very true. Many people who have peaked have stated that they thought that "TERFs" were these evil and hateful people, but they realized it wasn't true.

They try to paint us in a negative light and we become demonized so that people feel bad or guilty about "seeing what the other side is saying." I know I did. I felt guilty when seeking GC sources as though I had to hide it.

[–]Agodachi[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's refreshing to hear that someone else feels the same. Not gonna lie, but I still feel a little sad that the GC groups on reddit were removed. GC Feminism had thousands of supporters and was growing, it had a lot of influence and sense of community there (especially with other groups like GCTroll, Gc_woc, itsafetish, thatneverhappens)

[–]SameOldBS 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I absolutely feel this way. Sometimes I just lie in bed wondering if somehow my life diverged into an alternate universe, because all this feels so strange and impossible. Other times I'm just consumed with anger and despair, with the occasional flair of optimism that it will soon burn itself out.

[–]Agodachi[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oddly enough, I feel that exact same way that you do. I wonder if I've been put into this simulation and every single action of mine is being watched. I know many GC feminists aren't religious but my dad once said "sometimes I feel like God put man on the earth just for us to struggle and die," and let me tell you, that hits really hard sometimes.

[–]lunarenergy8 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Same - while I know this might sound cheesy, I just want everyone to be the best version of themselves, live meaningful lives, and live in and out of love. Then I see these ideas being used to justify this movement, wrapping it up as if it is a movement based in love and acceptance while knocking people down to lift themselves up, disavowing ideas that do not align with their narrative, yet still preaching acceptance.

I am lucky that my partner is on the same page, but other than him I feel quite lonely as I am scared to speak my mind with friends and family, because the Kool Aid has been drunk by so many it seems - then I feel guilty because if so many think this way, am I really believing in the right thing, am I the one with skewed views?

I don't think you are being dramatic, these are weird times indeed.

[–]Agodachi[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

At least you have your partner. I actually do have one friend I feel a little more comfortable talking to about my beliefs, however I worry that each time I bring up issues I annoy her more and more and might push her into the other direction. Does your partner enought ranting with you about this stuff (either he's really passionate or its therapeutic)? Or does he usually want to ignore it?

[–]lunarenergy8 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

He doesn't really rant with me, but he is really patient and listens, so more therapeutic I guess. I honestly would struggle so much more if it were not for him - cause like you, I have like one friend who I can have some convos with, but I am worried that I will say one thing and potentially cross a line. If you are ever looking for a chat or need to vent, feel free to send me a DM and we can connect (:

[–]Agodachi[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hi! Sorry for my late reply! I'm glad you have someone who listens to you about this, it can be extremely isolating if there wasn't anyone. And thank you for your invitation, feel free to send me a message if you feel like discussing this too!

[–]lefterfield 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

All the time. There are plenty of people that I don't dare be honest about how I feel about trans issues. I know how it would end. But I feel guilty for not being honest and speaking up, and also constantly having to question myself, if I'm wrong. No one else seems to care about the lives being destroyed or the women losing access to sports or safe spaces. I don't know when or how it's all going to end, but it needs to soon.

[–]Agodachi[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

it's scary to think of the consequences that could roll out if people found out that you're GC. You could lose your job, lose scholarship funding, be ostracized from school, hell you might even be kicked out from school. I have to bite my tongue with all of this stuff.

[–]TurtleFuzz 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I grew up in the 90s when "Girl Power" was in full swing. I learned that girls could grow up to be strong, smart, beautiful, independent women because they had the power within to do so. We didn't need to be men to get these things for ourselves. (I ended up loving children, and I always knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I never felt forced to stay home and raise children, and that is a win in my eyes.)

But now, I see lots of young children and teens claiming that they are transgender, and the "affirmation only" approach from doctors scares me. I, too, worry that giving in to the demands of immature children, with undeveloped brains, is sending our society down the wrong path.

When my daughters are old enough to go to school, you can bet that I am going to be prepared to battle these toxic ideologies and trans-cult apologists.

[–]Comatoast 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm not sure where you're from, but it's pretty hot and heavy in the student base within our public schools, and I'm in the bible belt. My daughter had a little girl that her friend group played with in 3rd grade that made a huge to-do about being a boy down to the name and clothing. They talk about sex evidently quite a bit in middle school now too.

[–]TurtleFuzz 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm in New England, so I expect it to be really pervasive up here. I have no problem with sex education, I remember in elementary school we had puberty talks with the nurse. But the problem I think I will have is if the schools push "anybody can be trans and it's OK". I believe that it's not that simple, it's a mental health problem that should be addressed by therapy. But thank you so much for your advice. It's something I will have to be prepared for!

[–]Agodachi[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Full respect to you. We need more parents fighting back against these rigid gender boxes these TRAs are trying to put in place.

[–]yishengqingwa666 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Men and TRAs are Narcissist parasites and they will never stop. Starve them out any way you can. Gray rock anyone who supports trans cult bullshit.