Men's Health magazine. How to choke a woman. I don't want to live on this planet.

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[–]Doobeedoo661 17 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I’ve not read the article, but I have to ask, who are these girls and women partaking in strangulation for the kicks? How did they become so complicit in degradation? Sure you can blame porn, mainstream media, the patriarchy but come on.

There needs to be an element of responsibility for one’s own welfare. I’m not convinced that this is an act perpetrated solely by evil males upon unwilling women, not for it to have become mainstream.

I really don’t know what to say except, this may be a way to weed out the weak within our society. If you’re stupid enough to risk your life with a partner who’s into strangulation and you’re injured, that’s just life and the rest of us who practise caution in the bedroom will survive this phase.

As for the men who practise this form of kink, I bet they’re exhibiting several behaviours which elicit red flags that are likely ignored by women. Women and girls need to wisen up cause men are pretty simple to work out.

[–]beholdyourheart 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's low self-esteem, and often mental health issues. Young women who are depressed, or have experienced trauma, or are suffering from some other kind of mental disorder - they want to hurt themselves and can channel that towards the now socially acceptable method of having their partner get off on hurting them. Self-harm is frowned upon, people will take notice if you have scars, but if it's a man doing the cutting (revoltingly called knifeplay, off-topic but I hate all the cutesy names given to this shit), then it's totally fine according to society right now. Anecdotally, at the time my self-esteem was lowest, when I really hated myself, that was when I was most interested in violent kink. All my fantasies revolved around getting hurt because I felt like I didn't deserve anything more. Once I started to deal with those problems, I began to lose interest and was able to develop more healthy sexual habits. If I'd had a partner who encouraged that kind of violence though, maybe I'd still be stuck in that mindset today.

Let's not blame the women here please, let's blame the men who encourage this sort of shit. At the end of the day when it comes to kink critique, my focus is not on the woman who wants to be hurt but on the man who is aroused by hurting women. One is dangerous to others, the other is only dangerous to herself. I really hate the idea that young women with mental health issues being hurt or even killed as a result of male sexual violence are simply 'the weak being weeded out', and I don't feel like that's conducive to proper feminist critique of kink culture at all. Like yeah, it's not healthy to want to be hurt and it doesn't make sense from a logical standpoint, but issues like that aren't logical. We can't stop women from making harmful choices, but we can do our best to educate them on the real harms of things like kink and porn without blaming them or calling them stupid for getting involved in the first place - that'll just drive them away.

[–]Doobeedoo661 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It’s interesting how abuse can manifest itself. Thank you for taking the time to explain something that impacted your life so intimately in order to explain the possible psychology at play. I may come off a little too harsh since my abuse manifests externally and I tend to victimise and manipulate where I perceive weakness - if I’m not mindful.