Someone said "let's not just talk about TRA's all the time." Can we finally talk about this? Or are we still too afraid of this, too?

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[–]fuckupaddams 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Here's a question I often wonder. Do we act in terms of the universe we currently live in, or the universe we want to live in? Do we get to the universe we want to live in without doing the latter?

I'm not being rhetorical. In terms of feminism, do we emphasize women as victims (the sad reality thus far) or emphasize women as agents of their own autonomy (the reality we want to see?)

I think healthy feminism acknowledges both. We can't pretend women aren't oppressed and we need to tackle that oppression, but we also won't get out of oppression by only ever framing women as being victims with no agency.

For what it's worth, in my little town of nyc things are shifting just a bit. I am often the only girl at work wearing makeup. At my last job, I'd talk about makeup with my (gay) male coworker who also wore makeup. We need to shift our conversations to include the ways that things are shifting. Sexism is still out there (no shit, I'm a feminist) but the conversation has to be updated sometimes, too.

[–]Anna_Nym 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I agree with you. In my goth days, I wore makeup as a tool of self-expression. Goth makeup was not the culturally acceptable form of makeup for women and women and men both wore heavy makeup. That was back in the day when goths regularly did full face of elaborate design. No one pressured me into it. If there was any pressure, it was away from it because people considered this form of makeup weird and sometimes scary.

This is a completely different context and way of relating to makeup than my mother waking up early to put on a full face of makeup because her career would be penalized if she didn't. I have never worn a full face of makeup to work, although I do occasionally put on mascara to hide looking worn out or sick.

Context matters.

[–]VioletRemi 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I was wearing goth make up and cloths mostly as form of protest, especially in work spaces, as people were saying I was clothing not appropriatelly and not feminine enough, or that I am not appropriate by being lesbian (I even lost one job for being lesbian, and I was not even coming out, they just saw me kissing woman). So I went full opposite "I will show you how real not appropriate looks".

Plus I was heavily depressed, so depressive music was helping to overcome struggless.

This is a completely different context and way of relating to makeup than my mother waking up early to put on a full face of makeup because her career would be penalized if she didn't.

Reminded me this song for some reason: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pw85IkkdNbw

[–]suzyquattrosshoes 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Wearing makeup = / = having agency.

[–]fuckupaddams 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Okay