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[–]lefterfield 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

That suggests it's not an effective weapon, though, nor a racist one. I don't think women should be criticized for bad socialization lessons - acknowledge that it's the product of socialization and work to undo the harmful effects, sure. But accusing them of weaponizing a behavior they were taught to do, and in some cases punished for NOT doing... not really fair.

[–]MenAreFragileBabies 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Should we accuse men of weaponizing their behaviors, even if they were raised with them and it's hard for them to undo that socialization? Of course, we do it all the time here. Why should we treat ourselves any differently? Radical change starts with us, and it's not supposed to be easy.

It really is not fair, but it IS our responsibility to change the things about ourselves that are holding us back. I think crying too easily is one of those things. It's a really hard thing to curb in yourself, no doubt. But it is performing femininity, and it is manipulative, even if we don't mean for it to be that way.

[–]Anna_Nym 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Crying is an emotional reaction. It's rarely something people do on purpose and I don't know of a single "Karen" story or video that actually includes tears. The idea of tears as manipulative is something that I've always seen on MRA sites, and I think it's weird and troubling that it was imported into contemporary feminism with so little data or pushback.

[–]lefterfield 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

No, I don't agree that we accuse men of "weaponizing masculinity." We accuse them of being violent, of being entitled to our spaces and our bodies by their actions and their words. But accusing women crying of being manipulative is saying that crying itself is harmful - you're assuming that when certain groups do it, they intend harm. In that case, raise the question: Who is allowed to cry, under what circumstances, in order to prove that they're not being manipulative?

Now, I agree that people should change socialized behaviors that cause harm to them or to those around them. But accusing women of being manipulative by showing emotion is a misogynistic tactic, and it's not an argument for why women shouldn't cry in public. Sometimes, women should cry in public. Sometimes, men should cry in public. This bullshit about women being manipulative is just that - men are every bit as manipulative, emotionally or otherwise, just their behavior is rarely called such.

[–]immersang 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you for putting this so very well.