Being an ally is never enough with them

submitted by Wrencer from self.GenderCritical

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[–]IridescentAnaconda 21 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

If everything you do is not enough, then why do anything at all?

I'll use the damn pronouns, mostly because my social standing (e.g. employment) depends upon compliance. And I don't wish anybody physical violence. But I'll never support trans "rights". Privately I'll never think of trans people as anything other than deluded individuals who are so removed from reality that they are willing to undergo dangerous medical regimens and procedures to satisfy a fantasy that can never become reality. If that makes me "transphobic" so be it.

[–]Wrencer[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Good question. I even said I wouldn't mind dating a trans person, if they pass and had bottom surgery (I'm bi) yet they would still go through my post history (I have a post saying sex is real or sth) to call me a terf, lol. Like, why even bother at this point of endoctrinment

[–]IridescentAnaconda 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I guess I should clarify my position. I'm fully for bodily autonomy and if a person wants to transition, it's fine, and it's compassionate to use whatever pronouns the person wishes. That still does not obligate the sexual attention of another person.

I've know a few FtMs that were fine people, although I suspect that they could have easily been happy as lesbians, without all the medical drama, had they not suffered whatever trauma caused them to stop identifying as women.

What I am really against is the messaging around trans rights. It's harmful to vulnerable people who have suffered trauma. It's harmful to lesbians and gays, especially gay teenagers. And it only really benefits a handful of narcissists and a medical establishment that profits from HRT and the various disfiguring plastic surgeries that are pushed on vulnerable individuals.

[–]Wrencer[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have trans friends irl, and what they're going through is very different from the online nonsense. Gender dysphoria exists and it's hell. One of my friends doesn't have the means currently to afford hormones and surgery. I respect her and her choice, but sometimes I can't help thinking "he's a good looking man, women love him, ...". I understand she's suffering, yet I'll always wonder how she can't just live as a gender non conforming man.

My problem with them in general is their "not dating trans women is transphobic" discourse because it's always used to attack lesbians, not straight men. Visit subreddits like r/egg_irl, they're also pushing dangerous rhetorics like being gender non conforming= being trans. I think we're gonna have a lot of detransitioned ppl in the future, and it's a debate the trans community should have, instead of pretending it's all hearts and rainbows.

[–]luckystar 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm starting to think of it as a cult. I lost a friend to this cult and it was EXACTLY like when I lost a family member to an MLM. They start acting more and more ridiculous and you try your best to be polite about it even though you can see the cult hurting them. And the cult teaches them that anyone who has anything but 100% acceptance and support is just "jealous" or "they are dragging you down". So they cut relations with everyone around them until their social circle is damn near exclusively fellow cult members, where they all get stuck in a loop of validating each others' bad decisions.

[–]Wrencer[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sad but kinda true tho : / it's horrible how LGBT communities on reddit have turned into those big echo chambers, when it's okay to dig up everyone's post history to find "terf" content as an excuse to ban ppl. We aren't even allowed anymore to say that sex exists. Hell, Twitter even banned the hashtag "only females get cervix cancer"

[–]luckystar 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I realized this lately when I finally had enough of old friend who "identified as non binary" and literally did nothing but change his name socially (not even legally) and wear nail polish and makeup sometimes. He unfriended me over some trifling thing (I'm not open about GC views on social media but literally everything is TERFy to them) and I realized I was free from playing pretend to his delusions.

After he unfriended me I finally started using he/him pronouns and referring to him by his "dead name" again and it felt SO GOOD. I realized I had been tying myself into knots trying to remember "they/them" and this new name (the new name was still a pretty masculine one... just whyyy) because it was honestly, just pure bullshit. The reason why I had such a hard time using his newspeak is because it ISN'T REAL, none of that bullshit was real! Just another arrogant privileged white male who wants everyone else to accommodate him and his dumb persecution fantasy, but he literally has never been oppressed a day in his life so he tries to appropriate something from women. I'm sad I put up with the bullshit as long as I did tbh.

I do have a trans friend I never misgender or deadname because she put hella effort into transitioning and isn't trying to take over women's spaces, just trying to live her best life (old school transsexual type). I do respect that. But this new kind of narcissistic trenders can gtfo with their nonsense.