Trying to put on a brave face, but hurting inside

submitted by Coconaut from self.GenderCritical

The whole reddit ban thing is such a huge blow for me. Such a huge loss. I’m trying to act brave and say things like “they attack us because they know we’re winning!” But in truth i am filled with self-doubt and insecurity.

Does anybody else feel this way? I feel alone and scared.

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[–][deleted] 28 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 0 fun29 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Oh yeah. I'm grieving the loss of r/GC, and I never thought TRAs overall would be this awful.

I know two things, though: There are more of us (Reddit, Twitter, etc. rep a small and fringey percentage of the population, and TRAs are even fringier). And we're smarter. We actually believe in shit like science. 😉

[–][deleted] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I never thought TRAs overall would be this awful.

Same here. Nasty, hateful, and violent people, I'll never see them in the same light again.

[–]cybitch 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I hate to say it, but I saw it coming a while ago. The American left was becoming more and more censorship-happy and intolerant of wrongthink as time went on. Being from a non-western country I feel like I have a very different perspective on these things compared to American feminists. I never bought into the woke cult, despite being a feminist and loathing being viewed through the lense of traditional gender stereotypes.

Not only do the TiMs have the rich and powerful businesses in the medical industry behind them, they are males and they will always stomp all over women and our interests. That's the way of nature, our instinct is to be submissive in the face of their violence, and it ended with them being able to talk about torturing and even murdering us with impunity while the brainwashed reddit admins had no problem cleaning out our civilized subs that didn't promote violence at all. The same didn't happen with male subs though. Because men don't give a flying fuck, they'll tolerate them well enough, but one hint of them trying to dominate male spaces and they would've been put in their place. Unlike women, men don't actually take this whole wokeness business seriously and they're not about to walk on eggshells for anyone, let alone 1% of the population. So yeah, this was inevitable, because a lot of women accept people policing their speech and will change everything about how they communicate and censor themselves. And once you do that, once you let them control the discussion, it's over., you have shown weakness, and it is in male nature to take advantage of weakness. It's depressing but it is what it is.

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

That's the way of nature, our instinct is to be submissive in the face of their violence, and it ended with them being able to talk about torturing and even murdering us with impunity while the brainwashed reddit admins had no problem cleaning out our civilized subs that didn't promote violence at all.

I'm really disappointed with all the women who keep insisting on trying to stay on reddit, but not shocked. It's like a default-mode for many of us to to go into "make everyone like me again and say what they want me to say".

[–]cybitch 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Exactly. The people-pleasing can only take one so far when the other side has zero intentions of getting along. It's like trying to make friends with the school bully by giving him your lunch money. He isn't going to be your friend, but he is going to be expecting that money everyday from then on... Better stay away from the poison.

The whole changing one's speech to match their standards is a trap in general. Literally anything you say can be twisted into something offensive. People who want an excuse to put a target on your back will always find it, the human race is creative like that. Witches weren't burned for actual witchcraft either. It matters not what you say or do. You're a terf, end of story. That's the whole problem with this woke, cancel culture the west has managed to twist social justice into.

[–]missdaisycan 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I appreciate your take. A surprisingly small fragment of Americans also were trying to sound the alarm over the rise of political correctness decades ago which I still see as the basis that was laid for the TRAs. PC culture emphasized niceness over factual and honest debate. It also coincided with the rise of third wave feminism. Imagine that.

[–]CaliforniGinger 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

If the internet face is getting you down, I suggest you try talking with people IRL... almost everyone peaks in a few minutes when the know the actual stuff going down, that is if they ever bought the lies in the first place.

[–][deleted] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m mortified and terrified at the prospect of women in the future. To be honest, I feel hopeless. The big money, influence, and power players are all backing the MtFs taking out places, taking over our medical terminology, taking over our rights, and men seem fine with it as long as they have their privileges and porn to jerk off to.
I’m terrified. I don’t know what to do with my fear... even most of the therapists near me seem “sex possie”, so I’m not going to go there.

[–]RickiSpanish 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Sadly we're heading more towards Gilead than away. Don't give up! I'm glad JK Rowling has fuck you money an isn't backing down. I think there's more of us than we think most are just scared to speak up. Im just glad we have a powerful female celebrity who isn't backing down talking sense despite all the threats. We can do this!

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In Gilead, Canada was still an option. Now it's fallen and the author has become a TRA.

[–]strawberryfields4evr 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

They've "won" the battle, but we'll win the war. The clock is ticking for them on how long people will put up with the gaslighting and self-censuring.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It would take something extreme at this point... high profile rape of boys or kidnapping of wealthy children by trans people, that kind of thing. Then again, it seems that powers that be are trying to normalize pedophilia.

[–]SameOldBS 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The trans-ing of children will do it, I think. That is so clearly fucked up and borderline abusive. I think it's already close to a huge medical scandal, and I'm hoping when that unravels, so will trans activism. It will be seen as responsible for brainwashing and mutilating thousands of young people. Plus, give it a few years, and all this gender BS will no longer be trendy and the new generation will reject it.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Possibly if notable transitioned kids speak out against the abuse they experienced-- maybe. That might take some time, however.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

GC is not happening just on reddit, it's happening on facebook, twitter, in news comments, other media, and in real life. Also, as much as they'd like you to believe that they are the majority, they're far from it. If we don't fight against it though, this may change.

[–]GCSeedling 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel it, too. I'm purposely limiting Internet time for a while, but it's still uncomfortable, regardless. Either way, I'm sure we've all been through worse and seen the light of day again.

[–]Moonkittie 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I feel you. I always felt out of place and scared to express my views whole heartly in my countrys feminist circles, because they were so different. At one point I felt that Im not a feminist at all, because how can I support women rights but say that trans are not real women? They attacked JK Rowling and I stayed quit, because if I'll speak out to support her, I'll be banned. I was scared but also so angry that no one of those said women shared my views. With the whole JK Rowling-thing getting bigger and bigger I finally found r/GenderCritical. I teared for finally feeling at home. I'm not crazy, here are other women who share my views! Who agree with me! I fell inlove with the community. The discussions. I became passionate about the cause, joined the GenderCritial facebook community. And I never been active on social platforms before at all. I downloaded a nice amount of radfem literature. I found my safe place within r/GenderCritical. Every morning I had a routine of coffee and r/GC, every night before bed as well. I honestly felt blessed and had so much gratitute for the sub. I learned so much from it, and from the amazing women there. The day it got banned I deleted everything Reddit-related. My partner said that he never saw such a strong reaction from me regarding anything raleted to the social platforms. I really cried and still feel heart broken. It was MY safe place, how dare they?!

I'm sorry for the long rant, its just that I feel too much about it. And I'm happy that it brought other silent lurkers like me to become active and speak up. They may try to silent us, but they wont succeed.

[–]SameOldBS 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There will be new communities, and GC isn't going away. Think of it as just widening your net. x

[–]UserNameJoeIsTaken 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's been hard, I know exactly what you're saying... You're not alone, at all. One upside I've found to all this (if you're int the mood for silver linings, that is... personally, there are moments where I'm just over trying to look for the positives in everything, if you know what I mean) is that I've had to dig deeper and found some blogs, articles and Youtube channels I didn't know about before, and I'm really glad I did. Bottom line - as long as we care, there's really no way to stop us from speaking out and taking action. And I know a lot of us care a whole damn lot!

[–]Rightbehindyou 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's scary, but you're not alone. :)