Both: Are sexual stereotypes about men and women in the bedroom true?

submitted by worried19 from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]MarkTwainiac 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

No, these facile, simplistic, sexist, misogynistic stereotypes are not true in my experience.

ETA: the stereotypes being presented as the norm here exclude the possibility of mutuality. They depict human sexuality only in terms of power relations. The idea that males are active & females are passive - & that one partner must be a dom, the other must be a sub - is not reflective of many/a majority of IRL relationships & encounters.

[–]worried19[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

Thanks for the reply. I find your perspective valuable because I know you came of age during the 70s and 80s, so you got to experience having male lovers before they were corrupted en masse by kink and porn culture.

[–]Vulptex 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

I have never seen porn in my life. I don't desire sex in general but if I had it I could not stand the dominant role, but I could probably enjoy the submissive one if I were able to ignore the gross sexual aspect. This is entirely natural for me. Though I've never met another male who feels the same way.

[–]worried19[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

What about sex that doesn't involve BDSM? There don't have to be dominant or submissive roles.

What do you mean by "gross sexual aspect?"

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

I don't like seeing others' private parts, and I don't want my penis touching another person let alone inside of one of the grossest parts of them. Having sex with someone would be both boring and gross to me.

[–]worried19[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Fair enough. Since you're asexual, I can't imagine you would enjoy it nor should you feel pressured to engage in anything you don't want to do.

But just so you know, it doesn't have to involve BDSM. I've never had sex where a power dynamic was involved.

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

That's the only way I could like it. Though I would still prefer there not to be any sex, or even nudity.

[–]worried19[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Why would you like that? You want people to control you or treat you badly?

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I would love to be kidnapped by a woman (unless she's ugly). You know about as much as I do as to why. No sexual acts, no nudity, those gross me out.

[–]worried19[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Do you think it's related to some sort of trauma?