Sex is not the same as race. They are different. Surely you understand that.

Let’s not pretend that a racist who accidentally sleeps with a black woman wouldn’t be infinitely more upset if he slept with a black man pretending to be a woman.

But I’ll address your point more thoroughly:

Im not taking the side of any racists- I’m taking the side of consent.

if someone is concealing a fact about themselves that they know is likely a deal breaker in order to get laid, they are wrong.

It is common knowledge that most people are not open to sleeping with transwomen. Tras bitch about this all the time and we have polls and statistics to back this up. Because this is common knowledge, there’s not a TW in the world who isn’t aware that more likely than not, their being trans is going to be an issue when it comes to sex and dating. Possibly an issue someone is willing to overcome, but also very possibly not.

To rob someone of the ability to make the choice to sleep with a trans person is wrong. It is wrong because the trans person already knows how large the potential to violate someone’s sexual boundaries is.

White men have been fucking (and raping) black women since they found us. There’s not really any reason for black women to assume that a white man would not want to sleep with a black woman, in general. That’s not really a thing, the way that it is for TW. It’s just not. It’s not me saying it to debate- this is not a thing. So no, I don’t think white passing black women are under the same obligation as TW, because there’s no established societal consensus about this. Obviously, if the white man asked and she lied, she’d be wrong.

I get the point is that she shouldn’t have to preemptively inform him- the difference is that unless she knows he’s a racist ahead of time, there’s no reason for her to wonder if he’s open to sleeping with her. TW already know that them being trans is highly likely to be a deal breaker in general. If being a black woman was a general deal breaker then yeah, as racist as it would be, it would be shitty to not disclose BECAUSE NOBODY IS OWED SEX.

Why does someone being a racist piece of shit (or as you try to imply- a transphobe) mean that it’s okay to sexually violate them? I don’t think anyone should be sexually violated. I think everyone, good or bad person, bigot or not, deserves sexual autonomy and the right to offer full consent. It’s really odd to me that you don’t.

Also- neovaginas are not the same as vaginas. This is fact. It’s not okay to not let someone know that they will be interacting with a type of genitalia they aren’t expecting. I feel like that should be obvious.