GC: Why is there more focus on trans women than trans men?

submitted by GenderbenderShe/her/hers from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]adungitit 4 insightful - 6 fun4 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 6 fun -  (5 children)

I think it's unrealistic, and sexist, to suggest that women can & should go through life without ever having a positive or loving relationship with any male person.

That's not up to the woman one bit. The vast, vast majority of men are misogynistic and hold male supremacist views. The vast, vast majority of women with said "loving relationships with men" still constantly need to deal with misogyny, double standards and being thought of as lesser. Women not being thought of as subhuman isn't seen as in any way necessary for the majority of male-female relationships, where other things are supposed to make up for that.

[–]worried19 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Don't you think that's a little dire? I fully acknowledge that many men, perhaps even the majority, are sexist in some way. Does that mean that there are close to zero good men out there? Are those of us who do have positive relationships just fooling ourselves? If I suspected my partner thought of me as subhuman, I'd kick his ass to the curb immediately.

[–]adungitit 3 insightful - 6 fun3 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 6 fun -  (3 children)

Women convincing themselves that their partners "aren't as bad" tend to fool themselves, yes. The more feminist ones will be open about it at least, but still have to constantly deal with their partners' double standards and misogyny. The ones who "don't need feminism" will make jokes about how shitty living with men and having to wipe their asses is.

Does that mean that there are close to zero good men out there?

Yes. And that is not the fault of women. Women should be discouraged from dealing with men's misogyny until men get their act together.

[–]worried19 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I mean, based on my personal experiences with men, I can't agree with that. That's not my experience with my partner. It's also not my experience growing up with respect to either my father or grandfather. Maybe they're outliers, but surely their existence proves that there are some non-shitty men out there.

[–]adungitit 3 insightful - 6 fun3 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 6 fun -  (1 child)

Excuse me if I find it hard to swallow that all those not-my-Nigels men are as enlightened as women wish they were, just as I find it hard to swallow that all the people saying they're "not sexist" really aren't sexist.

[–]worried19 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But why is the default reaction to doubt people who say they have had good experiences? Surely if some women have positive experiences with men, that's a good thing.

I know my partner intimately. I only know my dad and grandpa in family contexts, so I admit there could be something there I'm not aware of. But in family settings at least, they have never treated my mom or grandma in subhuman, misogynistic ways. Not once. I would lose all respect for them if they had.