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[–]MarkTwainiac 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

As a lesbian, I have stared at women sexually and dreamt of doing sexual things with them, especially in bathrooms and locker rooms.

Staring at women in a leering, suggestive, sexually aggressive way in locker rooms, toilet facilities and other such settings is not acceptable for anyone, including lesbians and bi women. It's also NOT customary behavior for lesbians and bi women, either. At all.

In another post on this thread you say

I don't stare too much by the way. My sex drive changes frequently, from feeling nothing to feeling too much all of a sudden. Most times, when I see other women anywhere, I don't feel anything. But there are these occasions I have a high sex drive and stare even if it's on the streets ...

It must be because I've never had sex? Not sure. I'm very introverted and socially awkward. Even talking to others is a hard task for me, that's why I've never even been in a relationship. 😅

Please stop suggesting that what you personally do on the streets every once in a while is indicative of what all or the majority of lesbians and bi women customarily and constantly do, and have historically done, in intimate spaces like locker rooms and loos. None of us can make generalizations about entire classes of people based on our own individual life experience. This is even more the case for you because as you admit, you have very limited life experience. You do not represent lesbians or bi women as a group. You do not speak for them.

From your many posts on this sub, you are a very poorly informed person with little experience and knowledge about the topics you opine about more generally. Though many here find your threads and posts frustrating and tiresome, you have been shown a great deal of tolerance. But today I am drawing a line in the proverbial sand and saying I do not and will not tolerate this new attempt of yours to sully the reputation of all lesbians and bi women by painting them in a negative light.

Lesbians and bi women are not sexually aggressive leches who in locker rooms, ladies loos and other intimate female spaces tend to stare and leer at other women in a pervy, predatory way that is akin to the way boys & men use the "male gaze" to regard us as pieces of meat.

For you to suggest lesbians and bi women typically do behave this way is incredibly offensive. It's not only a total lie, but it's clearly meant to make lesbians and bi women out to be "manly" and "mannish" and "just as bad as men" for the purpose of suggesting that if boys and men don't belong in female intimate spaces, then lesbians and bi women don't either. This is a position that is homophobic, biphobic, sexist and misogynistic. Smearing lesbians and bi women as you are attempting to do is, as the British would say, not on, OP. It's not on at all.

[–]VioletRemihomosexual female (aka - lesbian) 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (12 children)

It's also NOT customary behavior for lesbians and bi women, either. At all.

I am often ashamed to look in such spaces at all, as I feel a bit guilty. And most lesbians I know are not looking at other women, especially not staring in such spaces.

[–]Tea_Or_Coffee[S] 7 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 6 fun -  (11 children)

I am often ashamed to look in such spaces at all, as I feel a bit guilty.

May I ask why you feel guilty?

[–]VioletRemihomosexual female (aka - lesbian) 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

Because they are in safe space and I may make them feel uncomfortable.

[–]MarkTwainiac 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The fact that you feel and behave as you do so as not to make other women feel uncomfortable is a prime illustration that lesbians and bi women were socialized as women and are entirely different to men!

[–]Elvira95 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

Having your eyes all over me wouldn't make me uncomfortable, actually quite happy. Oh wait, I'm a lesbian, forgot that :D

[–]VioletRemihomosexual female (aka - lesbian) 8 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 5 fun9 insightful - 6 fun -  (7 children)

You found me even here :D

[–]Elvira95 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (6 children)

I hope to find you in person as soon as possible :D

[–]Tea_Or_Coffee[S] 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (5 children)

Aww 🥺 Hope you and u/VioletRemi finally meet soon 🥰

[–]Elvira95 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Yeah, it's shitty that we're both in very complicated condition in our lives and far, yet I have completely fall in love, even if it's very unlikely to have a real relationship. Sometimes you find the perfect person who makes you feel close to her, even if she's so far and from completely different culture and country. I still hold some hope though. Thanks.

[–]Tea_Or_Coffee[S] 8 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

I can feel how hard it is for you :( I haven't ever been in a relationship myself because socialization drains me (I can manage online interactions more than the ones in reality) and I'm never able to take good care of myself let alone a relationship. But I've learned a few things about it watching other relationships, so my advice to you and u/VioletRemi would be not to give up on your love for each other. View the distance between you as a learning journey, a test.

Instead of thinking that the long distance is pulling you two apart, believe that through this experience, you will be bound together even stronger.

You can use video chats to at the very least meet face to face too! I'm sure you will meet one day though. Fingers crossed wishes

P.S. my dms are always open if you want to vent about this to someone and need support!