Your (hypothetical) child has been revealed be intersex. What do you do?

submitted by DerpDerp3001 from self.AskSaidIt

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[–]SueBoyle 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (14 children)

These medical procedures are not fully tested or approved, and should therefore never be performed on children.

https://youtu.be/xarC2S3t_FI?si=kLYpflqTLCNt4qac

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

That sounds reasonable. What's the current, accepted process?

[–]weavilsatemyface 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Unfortunately, in the US some outdated practices that can involve lying to the patient and their parents, and unnecessary, harmful surgery, are still being applied. For example, if the doctor thinks that a girl baby has a clitoris which is "too big", they will recommend a clitoridectomy (surgical reduction of the clitoris by removing some or all of it). This can have devastating results on the woman's ability to feel sexual pleasure and orgasm.

The Intersex Society of North American recommends that disorders that directly impact the child (e.g. the lack of an opening for the urinary tract) should be corrected by surgery but that purely cosmetic surgery to match some stereotype of "normality" should be delayed until the child is old enough to understand the risks and decide for themselves.

CC u/DerpDerp3001

[–]NastyWetSmear 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I guess it depends on the extent of the deformity, but otherwise it makes sense to let the child grow to an age where they can make that choice educated - So long as we aren't impacting their life in some other way.

[–]SueBoyle 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

My goal would be to create a safe and nurturing environment where the child can explore their identity and make informed decisions about their own body as they grow up. It's crucial to be sensitive to their needs, listen to their feelings, and provide resources and education about intersexuality and gender diversity. Ultimately, my aim would be to let the child lead the way in defining their own gender identity and expression.

[–]weavilsatemyface 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

Intersex has nothing to do with "third sex" or "gender identity".

Intersex covers many different disorders of development which may, or may not, need treatment. The right approach will depend on which specific condition they have and what disorders occur because of that.

The Intersex Society of North American recommends that disorders that directly impact the child (e.g. the lack of an opening for the urinary tract) should be corrected by surgery but that purely cosmetic surgery to match some stereotype of "normality" should be delayed until the child is old enough to decide what they want themselves.

[–]SueBoyle 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Can we just clarify that there is an obvious difference between a child that is born with a birth defect and these men that have a meth induced gender dysphoria?

Video: meth induced dysphoria.

https://youtube.com/shorts/8NRCFeKmGu4?si=A8ZUlL11_vzXvs0b

[–]NastyWetSmear 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I don't think u/SueBoyle is talking about raising a child like one of those insane TikTok parents who demands that their child undergo hormone replacement because they said they liked blue instead of pink, u/weavilsatemyface. Just that the child be permitted to decide which kind of cosmetic surgery is right for them once they are older... Don't want to roll the dice, lop off their dangly bits and end up with a kid who naturally leans towards being a man, but you mutilated him on a whim.

Like you said, the cosmetic stuff should wait.

[–]SueBoyle 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Just that the child be permitted to decide which kind of cosmetic surgery is right for them once they are older...

I'm a little unclear by your statement there, do you want a "child" to be able to decide on surgical issues are you want a person that is illegal adult to be able to decide that they want surgery?

My opinion will probably differ from yours, but the intent of the op of this thread is to try to find an angle from which they can legally allow children to consent to surgery without their parents permission.

They are looking for any angle they can find to allow them to be able to cut off your daughter's breasts and to cut off your son's penis and testicles WITHOUT THE PARENT'S PERMISSION.

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'd want the legal adult to make the call - as in, the child once it's an adult.
I could see an exception being made for a child that's entered puberty with deformed genitals in the rare instance where no doctor can determine their sex. Where parents, child and doctor all agree that they are entering an age where having that deformity is worse than waiting and being confident that the choice was made by an adult. It's a matter of weighing up the circumstances. I wouldn't recommend that same leniency for someone who wanted similar cosmetic changes on a healthy body. For example, a 16 year old girl and her parents wanting to come in and slap on a pair of bang'n double D's on their kid - Your body is healthy and normal, these are choices you can make when you're an adult.

If we're talking about attempting to "Transition" a child, especially without the parents permission, that seems patently ridiculous to me. The difference between a scientifically testable and demonstrable physical abnormality and a vaguely understood mental and social condition are pretty vast. Additionally, though my understanding is limited, the side effects of attempting to cosmetically swap genitals are... Numerous and often life altering, as opposed to attempting to correct deformed genitals. One is shaving away some broken branches while the other is trying to get an apple tree to grow tomatoes.

[–]SueBoyle 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I am 60 years old and I was the class of 80, and I can't remember one child in my school that was transgender.. I can remember one young boy that tried to get with me when I was in about the 10th grade.. but he didn't push it and I really didn't understand what he was doing until years later..

I think the trans movement has gotten way out of hand and the truth is I think they're losing traction now because people are waking up and saying no more.

[–]Vulptex 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

That's exactly how I feel. I wouldn't even be shocked if I was secretly born intersex and my parents decided they wanted a boy, and never told me. I highly doubt that, but it would make sense. Realistically I think sex dysphoria is itself an intersex disorder.

Also, that's Ed.

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I understand that some people around here have certain feelings about Ed, but it doesn't matter to me who said it if it's right... At least, in my opinion. It might be a case of the broken clock being right twice a day, but if Hitler tells me that eating broken glass is bad for my health I'm not scarfing down a big plate of it to spite him.

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

If he's confusing you, that's why. He's trolling.

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No, I'm good, thanks. :) If he's trolling, he's doing so in a way I don't mind.