The cis fag and the neuroqueer gigadyke

refusetolie · 2021-01-05T02:54:30+00:00

"Sometimes I have difficulty paying attention. I'm SOOO ADD."

"I keep everything organized and can't stand a little clutter, I'm SOOO OCD."

It's mildy cringy among teenagers who do not understand that they are misusing the label. When people cling to those "this makes me special" labels into adulthood and proclaim themselves the sole entity capable of understanding which mental conditions describe them, including browbeating people who have been more or less objectively determined to have the condition as oppressive, it goes from cringy phase to narcissistic nightmare.

refusetolie · 2021-01-05T02:40:58+00:00

One can only hope.

refusetolie · 2021-01-04T16:56:05+00:00

It is laughable that he views the replacement of butch lesbians with straight men as an outcome that lesbians would view favorably. This is, of course, only true when the "lesbians" whose view you lend any credence to are straight men, and perhaps also the bisexual women who are willing to pander to them.

refusetolie · 2021-01-04T16:37:45+00:00

When I got to the "pronouns are SERIOUS! I read it on the Internet" bit, I cannot read that in anything other than Luanne's (from King of the Hill) voice. Good riddance.

refusetolie · 2021-01-04T16:29:10+00:00

neuroqueer

Does this mean the individual simply identifies as neurodivergent without any objective evidence? If queering sexuality means a man can identify as a lesbian, I see no reason why queering neurology shouldn't mean a neurotypical can identify as neurodivergent.

I wonder how parents would take it if a bunch of kids started identifying as autistic en masse and the school affirmed their identity at their word instead of conducting evaluations to verify, and then these kids all are placed in a self-contained autism classroom to validate their identities, straining the resources that are intended to help kids who are actually autistic and are disabled to one extent or another? The teacher would cater to the neurotypical majority and the kids needing specific attention and intervention would be left in the cold again. All the while media praises the neuroqueer kids as brave and special people who are the victims of the prejudices of their actually autistic classmates and their parents, who are all horribly bigoted for wanting them out of their classrooms.

refusetolie · 2021-01-04T16:18:06+00:00

I am aware of people who call themselves vegetarians when they eat fish because there is a cultural classification of fish as distinct from meat, and vegetarian is commonly defined as one who refrains from eating meat rather than animals generally, so I at least understand why someone would consider themselves a fish-eating vegetarian.

But vegan is specifically defined as not using animal products, so a vegan diet must be devoid of animal products. I can understand someone might be vegan in principle and almost entirely in practice but not, for instance, meticulously check ingredients lists to see whether there is a dye made from crushed insects or will accept food prepared by someone who says there are no animal products in it without asking to check all the boxes and jars of any packaged ingredients that have been used, but it defies common sense that someone would claim to be, say, a cheese-eating vegan or a gelatin-eating vegan (although for the latter, if the person in question is simply eating a 99+% vegan diet and is not philosophically vegan, I can see why they would claim they are vegan so their friends know they won't eat a burger or an omelet even though including gelatin means their diet isn't technically vegan).

refusetolie · 2021-01-04T16:07:36+00:00

I cannot see "wlw" without hearing Dr. Zoidberg in my head. It seems like it's only pronounceable by a creature with tendrils over the mouth.

refusetolie · 2021-01-03T21:11:30+00:00

The main reason I am confused is because the definition of a sexual orientation is the sex(es) to which someone is sexually attracted. If someone exhibits strong evidence of being attracted to both, then by definition bisexuality exists. I can conceive of people being mistaken in the cause(s), or mistaken in the stability of it (for instance believing that no one is bisexual across the lifetime), but the "slutty" myth for instance - do those who endorse it believe that they are getting with both sexes out of desperation and don't truly enjoy sex with either males or females? Because if they do enjoy sex with both sexes, they are by definition bisexual. Unless they think that sluttiness is a cause of bisexuality, but even then it doesn't make sense to conflate them as promiscuity exists outside of bisexuality.

I'm going to stop trying to understand this as it is giving me a headache.

refusetolie · 2021-01-03T20:53:43+00:00

Archive link for anyone who would prefer not to visit the the ~~Hate Group~~ Secret Internet of Cultists known as The Atlantic:

https://archive.is/BhfMj

refusetolie · 2021-01-03T20:37:54+00:00

The process of puberty is essential to the maturation of the brain. The rationale for stopping puberty is to postpone the decision to make permanent changes until the child is older without developing secondary sex characteristics. The implicit fact here is that older children, teenagers are better equipped to assess risks than are young children. The reason for this is due to brain development and additional years of experience.

While I do not agree that a normal 16-year-old is equipped to make major permanent decisions affecting health and fertility, even if that were the case, a 16-year-old who has had their puberty halted is in no way equivalent to a 16-year-old who is undergoing normal development. The delayed child is psychologically more like a prepubescent child, as the treatment introduces a developmental asynchrony. Thus it is not rational to presume that their increased age confers the expected expansion in the ability to realistically judge risks and make permanent decisions.

Similarly, it is common for autistic children to be delayed in social development and emotional maturity even if they are cognitively normal or even far superior to the norm. Given the degree of overlap between autistic minors and cross-gender identification, the effect of delaying the brain maturation of a child who is already delayed in these respects likely compounds the socially damaging effects of developmental asynchrony.

refusetolie · 2021-01-03T20:13:55+00:00

Anyone who requires so great a quantity of coddling to be happy will never be happy. As difficult as it can be to confront and learn to accept unpleasant realities, it is far easier to do than it is to bend the world to bow before your delusions, as successful at that as the gender lobby has been at that.

refusetolie · 2021-01-01T02:08:40+00:00

I fail to understand how people fail to grasp that bisexuality as a sexual orientation exists. There is evidence of people who seek out sexual partners of both sexes outside of coercive circumstances such as lack of access to the opposite sex or extreme pressure to suppress homosexual desires. There clearly exist people confused about their sexuality, but they are hardly restricted to bisexuals.

refusetolie · 2021-01-01T01:57:51+00:00

Most of that other half were likely confused about whether the "wo/man" in trans wo/man referred to their biological sex or the sex they are trying to approximate. Additionally, most people who have only known a well-passing trans person or none at all are likely picturing the scenario of someone who perfectly passes as an attractive person of the sex they desire.

refusetolie · 2021-01-01T01:50:08+00:00

It's another variation of the notion that the comportment with sex stereotypical behavior and interests is the essential nature and incongruence with biological sex constitute outliers of secondary importance rather than biological sex being the essential nature and incongruence with sex stereotypes constituting outliers of secondary importance.

In other words, because most people attracted exclusively to men are women, if a man is attracted exclusively to men, rather than think he is among a minority of men, they conclude that he must not really be a man, the category "man" having been so abstracted from biological reality that this regressive homophobic notion sounds sensible even to people who purport to oppose homophobia.

refusetolie · 2021-01-01T01:35:13+00:00

People such as the one in the reddit post believe that a tame version of their fantasies resembles actual lesbian experience. Failing to apprehend that actual lesbians have learned to direct our gaze away from fellow women to avoid making them feel creeped on.

I have a habit of adopting a fixed stare when lost in thought or trying to avoid processing anything in my line of sight, and I had to train myself to deviate from this habit and intentionally focus on a wall so as to avoid a misperception that I was staring at a fellow girl in the locker room.

Even when I was a teenager and inadvertently caught peeks before I learned to control my gaze, those moments became inextricably linked to the embarrassment and remorse they evoked in me when I realized what had happened, robbing me of an ability to enjoy those sights later. Lacking such experience and the most rudimentary empathy preclude understanding this. And when it comes to empathy, people typically regard me as deficient.

refusetolie · 2021-01-01T01:13:08+00:00

Kids, indeed. I once had this very thought, that I was bisexual because I wouldn't rule out the possibility of dating either sex. Of course, at the time I was all of eight years old.

Young adults and teenagers living increasingly online and having less sex than prior generations doubtless contributes to this prolongation of sexual naivete.

refusetolie · 2021-01-01T01:02:03+00:00

Why do they think lesbians would enjoy or even be okay with sex with a physically male person as long as they don't use their penis? When I'm having sex, I don't want a penis in the same room. It's a complete turn-off, akin to the idea of having sex in front of your parents, even if I don't have to look at it. Knowing it is there is sufficient.

Of course the answer is that what we enjoy is irrelevant if our desires fail to serve the ideology.

refusetolie · 2021-01-01T00:49:11+00:00

Precisely. I will not deny physical reality in the name of kindness or anything else. I do not care one way or the other what kind of gender feelings anyone has or whether they match their sex or not. That information is irrelevant to the material reality I inhabit and that can affect myself and others. There are a multitude of facts about this world I find deeply unpleasant, often to the point of despair or anger should I ruminate about them. It is not a kindness for someone to deny these realities in an attempt to ease my mental anguish, as denial of reality accomplishes little but delaying efforts to deal with that which we cannot change.

To refuse to lie about the immutability of sex no more necessitates a callous action than to refuse to lie about the health consequences of obesity necessitates calling random fat people "fatty." Should we also pretend that being obese is as comfortable and healthy as being within a healthy weight range so that we do not make people struggling with their weight feel bad?

refusetolie · 2021-01-01T00:13:39+00:00

It occurs to me that the study fails to account for the differential risk assumed by men vs women in this scenario. Indeed, I am uncertain how the study design could account for this factor in an investigation of heterosexuals, as even if one contrived a safe environment where the participants would be incapable of getting away with doing violence without invading their privacy, women have spent our entire lives learning to negotiate risk based on the knowledge of the male:female strength differential, not to mention cultural notions about female modesty and women's emotional nature.

While the male:female strength differential is irrelevant to lesbians in the context of sexual encounters, the cultural influences are not. While I expect that women on average would still be significantly less likely to assent to casual sex with a stranger after accounting for these factors, as I anecdotally note that lesbians I have known do not differ drastically from heterosexual women when it comes to reticence to engage in casual sex, they are doubtless factors.

refusetolie · 2020-12-31T23:59:24+00:00

Not all of us work so differently. I have never required any deep emotional connections to desire sexual intimacy. It is one reason I felt even more alienated from others of my sex after puberty began. But yes, women are biologically primed on average to be more selective about who we sleep with because for most women, sexual encounters can result in pregnancy and it's desirable to have a mate who will stick around for pregnancy and child rearing, and even when we have no desire for sexual encounters with males, some of those instincts usually carry over, just as being lesbian doesn't mean that we are all exempted from possessing the instinct to have children even though to do so naturally would require a male.

refusetolie · 2020-12-13T02:40:10+00:00

I have not known a single butch (or even just slightly tomboy) lesbian irl who is now age 35 or younger and HASN'T at some point identified as a man or non-binary. Many of them have taken testosterone. It's a social contagion. Young lesbians would go to college seeing themselves as lesbians, see a bunch of the butch lesbians start to identify as men starting with those in gender studies and spreading outwards, and they would see this trans narrative as the explanation for why they felt different, and then so many lesbians were identifying as trans that new lesbians would get male pronouns assumed and have a bunch of people asking whether they'd started T yet, etc. Speaking from personal experience. We lost the role models who showed us that being a masculine woman is not a pathology, including some older women 50+ I've known who transitioned to "straight men" in the last five years after a lifetime in feminism and proclaiming pride as a butch lesbian. Now this seems to be starting in high school more often as it's gained prominence on social media sites and more generally, and affecting more straight girls too.

refusetolie · 2020-12-13T02:28:40+00:00

In short, because I oppose political coercion, the primacy of subjectivity, the reinforcement of sex stereotypes as intrinsic to sex identity as opposed to correlations, and the transformation of the pursuit of self-discovery and self-improvement into a consumerist technological affair.

Trans activists have declared it necessary for people to lie and pretend in order to respect them or for them to have equal rights. Gay rights was about acknowledging that we are different and that's okay, while the trans movement seeks to deny their differences to the greatest extent possible, asserting that it is NOT okay to acknowledge their differences unless it is to point out how they are victims, even when those differences are very relevant. Where sex is irrelevant, someone being trans or not also should be irrelevant. Sports, locker rooms, and prison assignments are examples where sex is highly relevant, and trans status is still irrelevant because barring physical modifications (that can happen separately from a trans identity such as doping or if someone IDed as trans then detransitioned), trans identity is a purely subjective phenomenon. Physical sex is not.

Laws need to be written around objective definitions as much as possible. Sexual attraction is itself a subjective phenomenon, but it is not the subjective component that is legislated around. Laws against homosexuality were and are against specific acts, whether sex acts, marriage, or adoption or other things. A discrimination case would be based on objective signs of your perceived sexual orientation (such as mentioning the sexed name of your partner or someone mentioning you're gay) and objective signs that you were discriminated against on that basis.

So yeah if Janet says she's a lesbian or John says he's bi, we tend to take them at their word at least initially, because in a casual conversation you don't need to probe the details of their sex life to get confirmation because it's just not that relevant. The same way if someone says they had a coffee and a bagel for breakfast, you don't tend to interrogate them to determine whether they're telling the truth. But if someone says they're a vegetarian and they're eating a steak right in front of you, there is nothing wrong with stating the obvious fact that they are mis-labelling themselves. Likewise, if a woman calling herself a lesbian is talking about seeking out sex with men of her own volition, there is nothing "policing" about saying that if she is telling the truth about one thing, the other thing cannot be true. A physically male person calling himself a woman or a lesbian is like the vegetarian with a steak in their mouth.

I hear from many people that yes, they know it is not true, but it is a kind lie. But kind to whom? To the person who invests loads of time, money, and pain into physical transformation only to find that of all those people who were validating them that they thought were in their dating pool, almost none of them actually honestly thought they looked good? There is a reason why a bunch of MtFs have felt aggrieved by the "cotton ceiling" after being told by lesbians (and "lesbians") around them that they were totally valid lesbians and looked great but in fact none of them really saw them as women and certainly would never want to fuck them. I don't blame most of the women and LGB people in these circles for nodding along on the affirmation wagon, as being honest would lead to ostracism at best and harassment, death and rape threats, and stalking and assaults at worst. But don't pretend it's the kind thing to do. And it's certainly not kind when you push the affirmation-only narrative so hard that you badger homosexuals for not wanting to be intimate with the opposite sex like that young lesbian recently bullied on TikTok, even though she was extremely accommodating and respectful of trans people's identities and simply could not be attracted to male genitalia or male bodies generally, because let's face it, even with surgeries and hormones, there are differences between the male and female frames that factor into sexual attraction for most people.

Gay rights does not mandate people to pretend that a homosexual couple can conceive a child or that people who are uncomfortable with homosexuality need to pretend they like it. I don't care what a coworker thinks of my relationships or sex life as long as they treat me professionally. The idea was that we won't force our views on you as long as you don't force yours on us. Gay rights definitely does not involve berating heterosexuals as homophobic for not considering sexual relationships with us.

I still support that idea. Even though I don't believe in the gender religion, I fully support other people's rights to practice it without infringing on other people's rights. If you want to call a man "she" I'm not going to try to get you prohibited from saying that. I will explain that I disagree and why, but I wouldn't try to force them to shut up any more than I would try to force someone to stop praying just because I'm an atheist. It's more fucked up to force your views on someone than it is to have a faulty perception of reality (which we all have to a greater or lesser degree).

refusetolie · 2020-12-13T01:31:57+00:00

It reminds me of when I was prepubescent and decided I should be bisexual so I could maximize my options and be open-minded and stuff. Yeah, that didn't work. I bet some people had similar thoughts as kids before their sexuality matured, except they actually turned out bisexual and instead of recognizing it as a coincidence think it's the result of having a more open-minded outlook.

refusetolie · 2020-12-13T01:27:16+00:00

It's just "oh you don't want to fuck me? well you're a dog anyway!" with a homophobic twist.

refusetolie · 2020-12-13T01:22:31+00:00

Also I don't think I can help that I find vagina gross. And I don't mean "I'm not attracted to it" I mean I'm literally avoidant and repulsed, almost like a phobia. I've tried to change it, 'cause that doesn't seem normal, but nothing seems to work.

I'm the same way but toward male genitals. I don't care what shape they're in, they're still scrotal and penile tissue, and the thought is gag-inducing. It would be crueler to pretend to MtFs that it could be any different. Even if I were motivated to try, it wouldn't work. I couldn't conceal the natural revulsion.

If you've seen one of those shows where they make a cake look just like a hot dog, imagine someone who likes hot dogs but hates cakes. Even if it superficially looked appetizing before, once it's in your mouth, the illusion is broken.

refusetolie