I'm sick of getting blamed for my disabilities

submitted by Vulptex from self.whatever

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[–]Luminato 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You sound outcast and isolated. One book that has helped me through feeling like that is Florence Scovel Shinn's The Game of Life and How to Play It. It's an easy, approachable read that always reminds me of the greater power of the universe, and of my responsibility to invite it into my life (instead of hoping it magically appears on its own, which sounds like what you might be doing).

I'll say a prayer and hope things work out for you Vulptex.

[–]Vulptex[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well my problem is that I'm essentially misaligned with the universe by nature. Natural selection has been stopped in recent centuries and produced generations of increasingly weak, defective, unhappy people. I am certainly one of those people, who does not belong here at all. I have a lot of gnostic-leaning ideas, and generally dislike life. Actually, daily life is becoming increasingly torturous, to the point where I can barely get out of bed anymore. And what do people think the solution is? Torturing me even more.

I really don't belong here. I'm so introverted that I not only want nothing to do with society, but also the world itself. I don't even belong in my own body. I'm drawn to my own worlds and would prefer being a ghost to the corporeal form. All my values run directly against nature, I value the golden rule and I'm extremely libertarian, in contrast to nature which is collectivist and says might is right.

The only thing that will work for me is finding a way out. Until then I want people to help make this more tolerable since I'm so fragile and weak at this point, not blame and punish me for it making me even more fragile and weak.