I have ran out of groceries completely at home what should I do?

submitted by transbob from self.whatever

Oh wait no worries I have half a bag of old popcorn.

Oh my God I was sweating there for a minute.

And I have some instant coffee

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[–]313337 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Food bank

[–]transbob[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

It's okay I kind of worked it out I've been watching YouTube video about how people eat their toenails.

https://youtube.com/shorts/fjCE7QZCb8Q?si=YRkx-uc9WNRPa0pd

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Roadkill.

[–]transbob[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Don't worry I found a raccoon out in the backyard and I cut his throat and I got him on the barbecue grill right now I'm having raccoon burgers in about 20 minutes.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I've never had raccoon, I imagine it taste rather like seagull which I also haven't tried but is probably alright. Seagulls eat well around here so they're fat bastards.

[–]transbob[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Well cannibalism is legal in these parts now but I only eat the ribs and I throw the rest to the pigs.

Sometimes Mama makes soup out of the eyeballs.

That's some pretty good stuff.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Eyeballs are full of nutrients, good for mama. I don't blame you for sticking to ribs, they're the best bit. I visited Ribs of Vienna during my stay last year in Austria, they offer a half dozen selection of different flavoured flame grilled racks of ribs. Well worth it, highly respectable establishment.

[–]transbob[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

If you'd like to stop over for dinner, there are a couple of rules..

I would prefer if you would fast for 12 days first and please shower thoroughly before you arrive.

You can bring your own butcher knives if you like.