I used to be the opposite. It was only when I saw that attitude didn't matter that I changed. I can practice something for years and years, put my whole heart into it, but it will still have flaws, and the perfect people will still start way ahead of the furthest I could ever get, with no or very little flaws.

It's kind of like the difference between a human doing something manually and a machine. A human will take a long time and always make errors, and never do it perfectly. A machine can do it perfectly, make very few errors, and do it much more quickly. Well, I am the human and they are the machines. And no amount of determination from me can change that. I will always be beneath them, all alone with nothing to do and nothing to turn to. People are NOT created equal, and anyone who says otherwise just wants to believe so, as I once did. God either doesn't love me or loves me way less; those are his special golden children and I'm just a disposable tool.

I don't want to believe this either. You have no idea. But unfortunately it's reality.