Man Bashed Online After Referring to Friend's Child as 'Baggage'

submitted by Musky from newsweek.com

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]tiny-brown-mug 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Yep. I think a lot of people are just trying to convince themselves that getting another man to raise a kid who's not his own is 100% normal. And that no guy should ever get to opt out of this. These women can't make it work with the biological father, don't want to get married, and break up. That failed relationship is not another man's fault. Neither is the woman's choice to have a child.

I feel bad for the kid who's stuck in the middle, but I don't see how it's wrong for this guy to say "no, thank you". I've also noticed the responses on AITA getting really savage, unforgiving, and one-sided. Children are allowed to set up boundaries with abusive parents, but parents can't say "no" or "not right now" to an abusive or irresponsible grown child. Women can say no to men, but men can't say no to women.

[–]Musky[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Again, I find myself in total agreement with you.

I feel bad for the kid who's stuck in the middle, but I don't see how it's wrong for this guy to say "no, thank you".

I have spent a considerable amount of time helping to raise other people's children, not by choice, but the guys who don't want to be involved, it's probably better they're not, and unfortunately, the guys too interested in doing so are suspect.

[–]tiny-brown-mug 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Excellent point. I think I saw a post on here indicating that the overwhelming majority of child sexual abuse was inflicted by the mom's boyfriend, or a step-dad. Yeah, like 70% of the abuse. Yikes.

You're a good guy to help raise other people's kids. If you have that calling and it's something you can do, go for it. You seem to take really good care of your niece, and that's awesome. Musky's a good uncle.

I just think it's interesting that all men are now expected to help raise a kid who isn't theirs in exchange for the "privilege" of having sex with a woman who's maybe not great at making long-term decisions, or can't keep it together with the guy who helped her bring a kid into the world.

[–]Musky[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You're a good guy to help raise other people's kids. If you have that calling and it's something you can do, go for it. You seem to take really good care of your niece, and that's awesome. Musky's a good uncle.

Oh lord no, that's certainly not my calling. Children annoy the hell out of me. And frankly, when Uncle Musky is having to watch the kids, it's more of a last resort sort of thing. Still, I don't think I've screwed any of them up, although pretty sure I don't deserve any accolades.

I just think it's interesting that all men are now expected to help raise a kid who isn't theirs in exchange for the "privilege" of having sex with a woman who's maybe not great at making long-term decisions, or can't keep it together with the guy who helped her bring a kid into the world.

At a certain age there aren't many women left who don't already have children. Or there's a reason they don't.