Cigars are gross. You should have smoked something enjoyable like Kuda Kreteks. If you're gonna wreck your lungs, might as well make it worthwhile.

i have a mental disorder. and you show me NO KINDNESS WHAT SO EVER.

Oh, shit. The only reason they didn't kill that kid in the library at Columbine was because he was one of the few who showed them kindness. So here I will recommend you find one or more alternatives to an inhaler. Pills? What if you drop it and it falls through a sewer grate? At least carry spares.

Having watched quite a few self-termination videos, I can recommend the swan dive from a great height as the most successful, and least likely to fail. It's pretty bad when you fail, are even worse off, but no longer capable of ending it. Opiate overdoses can work if large enough. Opening a nitrogen tank in a small room can also do the trick, but both of these can be interrupted.

I was going out the heart attack route, but they showed up and apparently carted me off to the shop, where they did some repairs. Still though, at least in my case, a very easy way to go, with little pain. Just 'ate a hot pepper' level, then blackness.

Btw, do you happen to remember what you were doing when you heard kennedy was shot?