all 20 comments

[–]la_cues 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I'm just mad because you crashed my crypto portfolio.

[–]goobandit 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Isn’t it fucked to see crypto syncing with Wall Street? I was hoping it would break away from that by now.

[–]AmericanMuskrat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was warning everyone. Fuck. I lost a grand in 15 minutes. I was prepped though, got out of the bad performers when the market was up. I'm poised to buy when shit stabilizes.

[–]socks 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

Welcome back! Will you post a video of the moment when wife meets girlfriend?

[–]AmericanMuskrat[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (11 children)

Oh fuck, I mean maybe. You should see when she calls when the wife is around. Things get frosty.

[–]socks 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)


[–]AmericanMuskrat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

What? I'm working on getting those two to get along, this is kinda surprisingly unusual. She's #15 (the fifteenth girl, she's not 15) and everyone else all got along. This is the first time the other guy and my wife haven't been okay.

Normally it works out really well, although I guess when I was 14 the first couple women probably shouldn't have done that. But it's a fine memory now.

[–]socks 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I have no words, but hey, who would I be to judge. I've not tried it.

[–]AmericanMuskrat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

What, two women at the same time? It's a lot of work. I don't know how mormons do it. I'm not sure one of them is alive right now, always kinda a surprise with that one. I mean I worry, I know that writing was cavalier but holy fuck I do. The other is a little mad I forbid wearing clothing.

I mean, I guess we all have to go through life one way or another, you know? And if that means you're true to yourself but none of your women want to talk to you at the moment, I mean so be it.

Women like assholes. My only problem has ever been too many women. And I totally don't deserve it.

[–]socks 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I still have no words. But this reminds me. You know that scene in The Wolf of Wall Street when Leo is snorting coke off of Margot Robbie's boobs, when his wife opens the car door and yells at him? I asked my wife if she'd yell at me while I was snorting coke off the boobs of Margot Robbie. She said - nope - she'd be impressed. (But I think she'd throw things at us.)

[–]Earendil 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

You are vile

[–]socks 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Then why do you bother responding to me? Are you in love?

(Grow up.)

[–]Earendil 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Does it always come down to something gay with you?

[–]AmericanMuskrat[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I can't even believe some of the shit I write, but out it comes. I feel like Mel Gibson.

You should email Margot Robbie, she might want to do blow with you and your wife. That would be one hell of a story.

[–]socks 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Nope - no matter where I get my appetite - I eat at home. Margot can't have any of this. :-) (But as we used to say many years ago, I wouldn't throw her out of bed for eating crackers.)

[–]AmericanMuskrat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's hard being a beautiful genius. I think pretty much as soon as I hit puberty I had women trying to fuck me. It ... Took me a while to realize. Luckily my teachers kept it in their pants. Two of them not so well but they did.

I haven't been alone since I was 14, usually older women. Then there's the women who fall in love with me online.

I don't hurt anyone. I try to leave them better than they found me.

[–]AmericanMuskrat[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I'm still drinking so I'm still kinda staying away.

I don't want to subject y'all to that any more than I already have. No thanks necessary, it's embarrassing for me when I do it.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Best insights usually are won drunk. But you should edit them sober.

The only person that even can feel obligated to be embarrassed are you yourself.

And: Weed is no solution in a chemical sense. You first gotta dissolute before you can reacquire and resolve some things.

[–]AmericanMuskrat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You're probably right Eli.

[–]goobandit 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m happy for you, dude