Astronauts warned not to masturbate in space as one session can accidentally 'impregnate up to 3 females'

submitted by [deleted] from dailystar.co.uk

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[–]Vulptex 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

If they're up there for a long time that's not even possible. If they refuse to jerk off they'll have involuntary seminal emissions.

[–]package 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I find it hard to believe there's any jacking off going on on the ISS; not a whole lot of room to do so, nor any great way to clean up afterward and not have yourself or the recycled air stink of cum. If it does happen it'd probably be some type of suction device like what they use for other bodily waste.

[–]chottohen 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

A Dyson 😃

[–]chottohen 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

OMG: Flying Spermatozoa—they're everywhere, they're everywhere

[–]Huliver 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Females should not be in space if they can get pregnant from some guy's nut. They should stay in the kitchen.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If we're going to have any extended missions to Mars or settle on either orbiting space stations or settlements on the moon or Mars, there will eventually have to be sex, and indeed spanking the space monkey. If we keep sending celebate spermophobes into space, when humans eventually settle permanently we'll end up with a planet of freaks like Isaac Azimovs Aurora who are afraid of touch.

[–]Walksoft 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Dammit...

[–]TarBaby 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Use an old sock or rag instead of jacking off into space.