I'm the same way. One reason I'm a political liberal is because it seems very unnatural to me to just throw money towards a cause and have no visibility on what happens after that. Honestly, it feels like a waste of money. You could argue the exact same thing happens with social programs, but at least it's out of my hands at that point, and I'm not having to randomly decide how benevolent I want to be towards the universe at any given moment.