Arkansas cops rule suicide in death of Clinton aide linked to Jeffrey Epstein - who was found shot and tied to a tree with an electrical cord around his neck - despite no sign of weapon

submitted by EternalSunset from dailymail.co.uk

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[–]Site_rly_sux 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

  • "Okay Muscle, I have a job for you. Thirty years have passed since this air conditioning repairman was relevant which means it's the perfect time to murder him. You're to make it look like suicide"

  • "Sure thing Mr Clinton. How about I stage a hanging?"

  • "Perfect, Muscle! Stage a hanging, so that it looks like suicide. And shoot him in the chest too."

  • "Shoot him? But boss, conspiracists around the world will immediately realise that it's another Clinton killing. Why don't I just stage the hanging?"

  • "I said shoot him, Muscle!"

  • "Okay boss. And then, I, like, just drop the gun at his feet and walk away, right?"

  • "No, idiot! You take the gun with you!"

Man, it's really lucky that conspiracy theorists are so much more smart than ex-President, Illuminati chief and mass murderer Bill Clinton. Otherwise we'd never uncover these wicked plots against dudes who work in residential air conditioning that might have been relevant three decades ago

[–]IMissPorn 7 insightful - 8 fun7 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 8 fun -  (2 children)

What's your alternative explanation? Shot himself with a gun made out of ice?

[–]Site_rly_sux 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

My explanation is we wait for the family and the coroner to explain what happened

[–]JewsAreOfColor 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

The coroner can easily be paid off.