“per my last email” = fuck you

“apologies for the delay” = fuck me

“cc’ing for visibility” = you’re fucked

“checking in in this” = i’m fucked

“let’s revisit in Q4” = fuck this

“i’m not sure that’s aligned” = fuck that

“respectfully yours” = fuck all y’all

“let me know if you need anything else” = give me something, fucking anything

“could you clarify” = this is some fucking bullshit

“i hope this email finds you well” = i couldn’t give a fuck as long as this email finds you

“attaching below” = oh fuck actually i forgot

“please reply” = fuck it Hail Mary time

“let’s discuss on our next check in” = for fuck’s sake

“due to the blockers previously discussed we’re unable to complete this project as originally planned” = we’re fucked

“unsubscribe” = fuck off

"please advise” = what the fuck does this even mean

“after careful consideration” = i’m about to fuck shit up

“respectfully” = fuck no