Read again. I'm not defending "wishing for death". I'm saying we don't need to take everything someone says in a moment of exasperation and intentionally amplifying it into something it isn't.

Pure psychological projection

Yes, exactly this. All I'm saying both sides need to:

A. Tone it down with all the accusations of racism, comparisons to the holocaust, fill-in-the-blank-phobia, etc. B. Learn to receive a full-throated "go fuck yourself" and respond without cowering and invoking accusations of racism, etc.

Clutching your pearls about how somebody said something offensive is not a confident response: it's exactly what the Left does.