r/MTF forms a circular firing line

submitted by BenitoGreen99 from i.imgur.com

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]Femaleisnthateful 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (12 children)

Autism, like ADHD has become a weird identity cult thing. I know multiple otherwise normal people in my social circle who have self-diagnosed themselves or their family members as an explanation for anything from 'feeling different ' to excusing bad behaviour and deflect blame.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

It's like the south park episode where Cartman pretends to have Tourettes so he can cuss anytime he wants or when he pretends to be retarded to play in the special Olympics.

Turns out, pretending to be retarded is actually retarded. Who would have guessed?

This shit is spread by social media contagion now but before social media it spread via mommy groups desperately trying to find ways for their child to be special. Munchausen's by proxy essentially. But not really. It's something a bit different similar but ever so slightly different.

I've known several legitamately autistic people. It's usually very easy to tell. And well, you don't have to say anything about it. But they fall I to two categories. There's the "I'm sorry I mistook your social cues" people who make no excuses about it, these people are usually great, and welcome at most any social gatherings because well, any problematic behaviors they might have are easily remedied by asking them not to do so. Wonderful.

Then there's the annoying "You can't tell me what to do I'm autistic" types. Horrifyingly sometimes they actually do seem to have autism. And I can't help but feel intense rage at their parents for failing to properly raise their child to navigate the world but instead coddling them into a full grown brat. Oompa loompa doobidy doo.

[–]LyingSpirit472 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Even then, as an autistic person, it's more likely the real autistic people will be in the first category- because part of being autistic is being absolutely petrified and riddled with anxiety that you're going to do something wrong. The autistic person will beat themselves up over any slight, real or (in their mind) imagined, and would be so afraid that they're doing something wrong socially being told about it is almost relaxing because at least you KNOW.

The second type are far more likely to be the ones who are faking it for attention.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I might be a sexist but the second type is usually women in my experience. The legit autistic ones. I can tell usually.

Autistic women usually won't actually come out and tell you they have autism straight up. They'll just whine and complain and cry, then their girl friends will gang up on you for being mean and they are the ones who won't shut up about the autism.

Like girl, you're going around beating this kid over the head saddling them with their disability, coddling them, you're the mean one aren't you? If you fail to tell a blind man there is something in his way are not you responsible for him bumping into it?

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

That's not sexist, it's just how they're raised.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

How they are raised is part of it. I think it comes more along with how they are socialized. Female social groups in school seem a lot more, two faced, in their dealings, and I think the autistic girls pick up on it even less than the boys do.

Autistic boys usually just get relentless teased, but most male teasing is done as a kind of, game. It is like you notice someone has a weakness that could work to hurt them (and by extension their tribe) and so you simply play fight them until they learn to fight back well. Why girls see male groups as being very mean to each other, also why the "girl boss types" suck at actually wielding male "pseudo aggressive behavior" because they don't get the pseudo part.

Female social groups seem more focused on being "nice" to people in their group so they can have the person on their side for future social conflicts, a way of maintaining social capital I suppose. Playing on the victim angle as well.

I guess these days they get social credit from having the "autistic friend". Probably because of that idiotic idea from educators that you can somehow force kids to want to play with the other kid rather than dealing with the underlying reason why they don't wanna play together. I don't think you are helping the kid so much as sparing them hard lessons best learned while young and more resilient. I suppose that's the difference between the more male and female aspects towards child rearing. You see a child crying because they dropped their ice cream cone, and you can either coddle them and tell them it's alright and they'll be more ice cream. Or you can laugh at irony of childhood where such issues seem important.

In reality a bit of a balance of both is needed. Most people seem to want to embrace thought free prescriptive methods of child rearing however. Somewhere between "ignore the child" and "always reassure the child" there's got to be a happy medium of, I don't know, not acting like a total cunt towards the child?

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The same thing happened to me on Reddit. I think the worst are people who refer to themselves as "neurodivergent".

[–]handbananasrevenge 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh yeah. It’s basically code for “I am not responsible for my shitty behavior, and the rest of you are the problem”.

[–]Musky༼⁠ ⁠つ⁠ ⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠ ⁠༽⁠つ 🐈 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

self-diagnosed themselves

I really hate that self diagnosis a slur. The idea is that we are too incapable of knowing ourselves and must rely on an expert who knows better.

And people aren't always great about it, but neither are the so called experts. The way the 'Diagnostic Service Manual' is laid out, you can have the same set of symptoms for a variety of conditions, but what you emphasize determines your diagnosis. A lot rides on how you explain how you are feeling to your doctor. It is not super scientific.

People who say they are anxious. Oh, they were wrong fuck off you people you weren't really anxious, you haven't been diagnosed.

You think you're depressed? Well you probably aren't clinically depressed but the doctor is just going to medicate you if you were anyways.

You can't pay attention? Well shit, I think amphetamines aren't the answer, but if you notice you have an attention disorder, what's the point of telling a doctor and then waiting to see if he thinks you're lying, because that's what it amounts to.

We just install and preserve these useless figures in our mythos, the cult of the experts.

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I think the issue is people who fake it for attention or special treatment. Like how guys self-ID as trans at sports events so they can win the girls competition.

[–]Musky༼⁠ ⁠つ⁠ ⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠ ⁠༽⁠つ 🐈 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Even with trans identifying men, there's obviously something wrong with them for them to be behaving that way, even if it's just mass psychosis spread over social media. They may not always be right about what their deal is, but issues definitely.

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They're just cheating

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

A lot of this isn't so much the science, that as you say is far from certain, the issue with self diagnosis is more psychosomatic conditions and hypochondriacs and the like. If you've ever had to deal with them you'd be very suspicious of anyone who says they are XYZ but always have an excuse for why they haven't seen a doctor.

Totally fine if you go look through the medical literature and think "huh this applies to me better ask a doctor's opinion". But what we see with the self diagnosis is far from "I have these issues I think it might be this condition" and more "I have this condition and that's why I need special treatment from you".

Like a kid in school says they have "ADHD" so they need their phone for the test? Yeah no, doctors note please?

I don't really mind the speculation of "maybe I have this condition" so long as it's not done for social status or special accomodations.

Otherwise. It's like the same shit and the transabled people. You want to use the priority wheelchair line because you feel like you are disabled but are perfectly fine? Yeah no fuck off with that. You wanna park in the handicapped spot without a permit? Nope fuck off with that. You can scream ablism all you want you still are getting the ticket.