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[–]reluctant_commenter 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I don't know very much about FDS but it feels very negative. I guess that is why I never really did a deep dive on it. Does anyone here read it / participate in it as a member, or is it more in the AL category?

[–]writerlylesbian 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's a group primarily for het women, and bi women I guess. The idea behind the group isn't bad, basically that women should actually hold men to some kind of standards in relationships and not be completely focused on just getting and keeping a man, any man, no matter how duchey he may be. But I think the 'translation' above: that these women seem to view lesbians as a consolation prize to toy with while they wait for the right man to show up, is pretty accurate. Also a really weird post for a woman to make when she's married to a guy and doesn't seem to have any intentions of leaving.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I getcha, that makes sense. Yeah, it's a little weird like, "Look I have other options! I could date women!" Theoretically. I have been starting to watch for a lack of excitement about women (i.e. "I hate men" vs "I love women") since people pointed it out to me in another post, and that definitely seems to be a running theme here.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Yeah what writerly said. It used to and still is trying to be about women empowerment above all else. But since more people have been joining it's become very "boujee" and pickmesha-ee like this post or all the other posts of women getting lavish gifts and everyone yelling goals expect one or two people. (Because public displays of affection shouldn't be "high value" quality.... usually signs of manipulation imo).

I guess I would say it's more like AL. There are some good messages and I love when someones getting out of a toxic relationship all the women comment and try to comfort the OPs or call out bad low-self esteem behavior when they see it. But idk it's a mixed bag.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

"boujee"

Wait, do you mean like "bougie" as in the slang that comes from bourgeoisie?

Gotcha, will watch out for it. I browsed it briefly and really enjoyed some of the memes about men. But, the whole idea of people being high or low value really bothers me. I think I will continue to look at it as a curiosity and not as a sub I regularly browse.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

bougie

Oh I didn't know there was other spellings/meanings for it. https://verysmartbrothas.theroot.com/the-difference-between-bougie-boujee-and-bourgie-bour-1822522172 I guess where I live boujee is how people spell it/ use it? I could be wrong but the term meaning for it that I know of is like fake rich/new rich? Showing success and being a "high quality" person is showing off your material wealth and expecting to be showered with material goods as well. But I don't know if that's the overall sentiment of FDS... I just see a lot of name dropping of designer goods like it carries weight in conversations and posts made of women saying they have a high value man because he bought her a stuff. And yeah same here.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Ah, thanks for linking the article! Yeah, "bougie" as I have heard it used has been used exactly how you described. I didn't know about the different spellings either, I just knew it came from the word bourgeoisie.

ment of FDS... I just see a lot of name dropping of designer goods like it carries weight in conversations

Yeah, see that makes me laugh. Like, what, haha.