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[–]Gearbeta 15 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

Regarding the penis thing, while I agree that in most of these cases they should know if they're attracted to men or not, a lot, and I mean A LOT of straight women have told me they find penises disgusting. And a lot of straight men find vaginas gross. It was one of the things that confused me before I accepted my sexuality.

[–][deleted] 20 insightful - 3 fun20 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

My condolences to their partners if they are actually straight. If a lesbian told me she didn’t like pussy I would be out the door.

[–]Astrid2448[S] 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I agree with you that it can be hard to realize you are gay. I don't think this is the same situation though, actually it is the opposite. It is hard to realize you are gay at times because society is heteronormative and you often don't realize that you aren't like the rest of the pack. It can be easy to rationalize what's going on because you don't know many people like yourself and have not been taught to understand those feelings. In many houses, people are even taught to NOT be gay.

It is another thing entirely to live in a heteronormative society, proclaim yourself to be gay against this society, and then claim to "not notice" that you wanted to suck a penis when the entire world expected and encouraged you to.

[–]Gearbeta 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

You right. Because I would think wait I'm grossed out by dick but so are a lot of straight girls?? But the difference is that I'm not attracted to men at all whereas straight girls would swoon over men they found cute. Interestingly the straight girls who find dicks gross will almost never claim to be lesbians but bis who admit to loving dick will lie about their sexuality.

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Or you read that stat that most straight women don’t orgasm from piv sex, or AT ALL in the majority of their sex with men. That would be confusing. But there is no way it would take a tons of guys to figure out you’re a lesbian unless there were other variables involved. Many other variables

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 18 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    It depends on the angle of your clit. Women with an inch or less of space between their vaginal opening and clit are more likely to get off more easily through penetration BECAUSE of internal stimulation of the clit, that is why we angle our fingers upward if she’s on her back. The clit goes back like 6 inches. I can orgasm from pressure on my mons if I am aroused enough. Like, just pressure on the pubic bone. Lots of WOMEN don’t understand their own anatomy or feel comfortable explaining what they need. The world is not focused on female pleasure in reality, just the idea of causing it.

    [–]Gearbeta 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I've never slept with a man but yeah you're totally right, it was confusing because I'm not attracted to men but the people who were supposed to be attracted to men didn't seem to be in a way that made any logical sense to me at the time.

    [–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Yeah, it would be easy to assume attraction was whatever and sex was whatever, but only if you had very little contact with women and no female friends. I wasn’t attracted to men either, but when I did feel attraction it was to women and PRETTY OBVIOUS fairly quickly. Some women experience less attraction in general, to anyone, and also women who have homophobic upbringings or religious families, homophobic countries or cultures would likely have a more complex experience of coming out or even admitting stuff

    [–]reluctant_commenter 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    It is another thing entirely to live in a heteronormative society, proclaim yourself to be gay against this society, and then claim to "not notice" that you wanted to suck a penis when the entire world expected and encouraged you to.

    That is a super useful distinction. Thank you for pointing that out!