I need you to understand the degree to which I love women. I am openly licentious, lecherous, a damn near pervert. I notice a pair of yoga pants from a country mile, and you just need to slap a half-naked woman on something and I'm there. I like hanging around women, I find their company much less erratic. I have to work with every ounce of power in my body to not stare at peoples breasts, and even then you can tell. I've had to resort to wearing sunglasses as much as possible just so people can talk to me. I am THE biggest hype man to literally any woman, I can find 1000 things that are absolutely stunning about any woman and churn them out without issue. I like the way they walk, they talk, they move, they sit, I absolutely love woman in every way. Compassionate, emotionally available conversations that don't end in a "suck it up". Supportive of you to a fault. The lack of simps, of whom I cannot understand and find kind of gross. It is everything that I extol publicly, openly, obviously, and blatantly.

So, needless to say, when I discovered I was trans things kind of fell in place. I'm the useless lesbian, it's me. I am the person who screams internally "good lord I am gay" on a daily basis because how can I even handle life when surrounded by absolute Goddesses. So I had to take the opportunity to joke about it, it was too good an opportunity. I came out to my parents, as a 31 year old woman mind you, by telling them "Mom, Dad, I have something to say. I'm gay. I know it's a shock. The bigger shock will be THAT I'M A WOMAN! I'M AS GAY AS THE DAY IS LONG, FUCK I LOVE WOMEN, BIG OL' CARPET MUNCHER HERE! So you were right, I am gay. For women. Because I am one. Now can you DROP IT FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST! I HAVE A WIFE!" Since I haven't heard a single gay joke from them, which averaged 3-4 a day before. No one says I'm gay anymore, even if I am absolutely positive I give off the gayest femme vibes someone can. That's right, I WAS gay the whole time, you all just had it the wrong way. I've been riding that victory lap for over a year now. It feels gooooood.

God, some of these people are just gross. Fetishizing womanhood to the extreme of impersonating a woman. I had to include the insane rant. He won't stop going on and on about his fetish.