Targeting / HarassmentTranswoman on AL has a meltdown over text with woman he hooked up with the night prior after the woman told him she’s not interested.

submitted by verystablegenius from imgur.com

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Ahhhh, I didn't catch that the woman was experimenting with him. Was there more to this conversation? I had assumed that she had slept with him by mistake. But that's a good point.

...What kind of upside-down world is this where women are experimenting with men-who-are-pretending-to-be-women?? LOL.

If there was going to be ambiguity here about perceptions of what was going on, it should have been discussed up front so that one or the other of them could have opted out beforehand.

I do agree with you on principle, but... I also have a lot of difficulty feeling sorry for this straight guy who is LARPing as a lesbian. As they like to say on AITA: "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes"...

(Speaking from experience, but for me it was straight women doing the dabbling.)

I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's bullshit.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

...What kind of upside-down world is this where women are experimenting with men-who-are-pretending-to-be-women?? LOL.

Predatory-women world, probably. If anyone needs one for some self-hating reason, I can hook them up. I know several.

I do agree with you on principle, but... I also have a lot of difficulty feeling sorry for this straight guy who is LARPing as a lesbian. As they like to say on AITA: "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes"...

Well, yes. But. As messed up as that is, let’s look at this from the angle of informed consent, taking into account his likely psychological state of intense neediness, vulnerability, and porous boundaries:

It's not a fair fight if you are psychologically healthier (or at least less vulnerable) than the MTF. At least he put "trans" in his dating profile, according to what she quoted. So, she knew—this wasn't The Case of the Missing Vagina when they met up. She knew she was about to get some delusional dick (or an unreasonable facsimile of a vagina), was evidently feeling pretty offhand about it, and didn't (or...did...) put enough thought into the harm that might do.

Doing this is sort of like violating the Geneva Conventions: The odds that he would have turned down the LARPing opportunity are slim. So he was more or less a captive audience, because of his own weaknesses, for her to do with as she pleased. Odds are good she knew that before anyone's clothes came off. Their conversation does not at all indicate that she gave him an opportunity to give informed consent to being experimented upon. (If she did, then he's even more delusional / desperate / unhealthy, and we're missing that piece of context, and she's even MORE of a tool for proceeding anyway. At some point you have to realize when you are the saner party and the other person wants to let you do things to them which cannot be argued to be healthy. Because someone says yes doesn't mean they are in their right mind and looking after themselves, just like when someone consents who is also drunk. That is not consent. It's also not consent if a person who is psychologically unwell says yes to something a reasonable person would find questionable.)

Torturing small animals is about the same mentality.

I know women who have done things this warped, so I have no patience for them whatsoever regardless of the credibility or sanity of their targets. I don't have any patience for the MTF here, either, but he wasn't masquerading to the same extent as those who won't even admit that they are trans until things are getting steamy (assuming they were passing before that). She had at least a half-way adequate opportunity to give informed consent.

The minute he calls himself "trans" it is prudent to infer that he likely either has AGP or GD and some other comorbidity going on which makes him off-limits for anyone who says they are seeking a healthy person to date—or even just shag for one night. That’s not a pool anyone should be playing in who expects things to proceed in a coherent manner.

This whole situation reminds me of scenarios in which both parties have Cluster B disorders / there is some element of psychopathy, the most common combo being BPD and NPD / psychopath (not the same thing, but similarly disinterested or incapable of regarding the other person’s wellbeing). The NPD / psychopath typically wins in the end because they never gave a fuck about the other person's experience of the situation in the first place.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

OH THERE ARE 5 PAGES. I thought you were reading into all that from just the first picture, I was so confused... I was about to be like, "Uh, we don't know any of that for sure, though, how can you assume all of that?"

I'll go back and read the images and re-read the rest of this thread with that understanding in mind, hahahaha. I'll edit this later.

edit: ...Okay, this is goddamn weird. Both of these people are manipulative as hell.

Up until the last page, I thought I could see a case for blue (the woman) being an innocent party-- maybe just having her head clouded by trans ideology while trying to be a good person. Back when I was still drinking the TRA koolaid, I had thoughts that were similar to some of her comments (I'm ashamed to say): e.g. "I respect that you perceive it as lesbian sex while I perceive it as straight sex" as a way to find a compromise.

But the fact that the woman 1. started the conversation and 2. ended it with that text in the middle on the 5th page like: "Don't let anyone tell you different Camille" "Uh, you are telling me different..." That is... incredibly contradictory. Two possibilities that jump to my mind:

  1. The woman (blue) is both self-centered and self/other-unaware. She has actually no awareness of how contradictory her own words and beliefs are. She leaves the conversation feeling confident that she's done her noble duty as an ally to uplift the transwoman, while also satisfying her "straight sex" needs. Transwoman is very confused because he knows she is not following the dogma properly even though she is praising him. (I know this may seem unrealistic... but I swear, I know some "ally" types who are like this IRL, lol. Clueless people are often more common than the truly predatory ones.)

  2. The woman (blue) is both self-centered and self/other-aware. This would arguably put her in a position of psychological power over him-- she knows that he's mentally-unwell and just wants to fuck with him, etc. It sounds like your comment I'm responding to is describing this possibility. I hear you there; if that's what happened then that is predatory of her.

At the same time, I actually think #1 is possible too. I know that #1 may sound insane to those of us who like to hold beliefs that are internally consistent, hahahaha. But I have met too many people with incredibly internally-inconsistent beliefs to rule out the possibility that the woman (blue) may just be one of these.

Either way, I still feel like I've wound up at the same conclusion. Reading this (all 5 pages now) makes me imagine two monkeys flinging shit at each other. Which monkey is better-equipped... IDK.

Hot take... I'm sure a lot of people here will disagree with me but I'll say it anyway. This guy's decision to call himself a "woman" is, by nature, deceitful. It's a lie, albeit an obvious one. (Posting on his bio that he is a "lesbian" is also deceitful.) Even though it's an incredibly easy-to-catch form of deception-- is that really any better than what this woman did? If two people try to swindle each other at the same time and one succeeds, is the one who succeeded really any morally worse than the other one?

edit2:

I'm re-reading through your comment; you make a lot of great points regarding the case that she's being intentionally manipulative. But-- I know this may sound like arguing on a technicality, but I still think it's worth mentioning-- from the context (assuming I am not missing any more), we don't know for sure that this woman actually knows what a transwoman is:

At least he put "trans" in his dating profile, according to what she quoted. So, she knew—this wasn't The Case of the Missing Vagina when they met up

We here on this sub know this, of course! But back when I believed in trans ideology and didn't know much about transwomen, I genuinely believed that they were women. I feel like an idiot saying that, lol, but I did. And I know other people IRL who do, too. Maybe she (blue) did too. Even if his deception is an obvious form of deception, I don't think the possibility of him having deceived her, too, can be ruled out.

Just trying to observe all the possibilities here. Broadly speaking, I do absolutely agree with your concerns about there being predatory women who are also capable of taking advantage of vulnerable people. I know it may seem like I'm splitting hairs, sorry, but I just want to make sure I'm fairly addressing both of their positions. Also sorry this is so long, lol.

edit3: I just realized, my point here is essentially the same as u/Moutonelectrique's in this comment. Now my wall of text is truly unnecessary, lol.

[–]MoutonelectriqueBland Straight ♀ 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Nah, you said it better than me! Thanks, I was struggling to find the right words.