why do they claim being “misgendered” is violence? Why do things like “gay men only like penis” and “women have cervixes” send them into meltdown mode? Why aren’t trans people queuing up to date other trans people? Why are they so threatened by monosexual men and women? Why do facts make them so angry?

Its all pushed by SJW's. Sjw's believe words are literal violence. That way when they hear speech they don't like (radfem or conservatives) its ok to physically attack those people, as they attacked you first. With speech. They insist we all should be open to dating them so being monosexual is a no no. They usually don't want to date each other because they are also monosexual, OR that it doesn't give them true validation. Anything that proves their ideology is bullshit will enrage the sjw, because you are harming the marginalized, again, with speech.

So, why are we kowtowing to something we all know is utter bullshit? Why are we ruining kid’s lives? Why are we dogpiling on LGB people? Why are we trying to cancel public figures? Why are people losing their jobs? Why are we stifling scientific research? Why are we completely fucking over women? Why is any questioning or objection being shutdown across social media platforms and in public discourse?

All this happens because they SJW's are in control of the public discourse, and canceling, shaming, dogpiling, all those are the tools of the SJW. They set the narrative and if you question it they come after you. If you apologize, they move in for the kill.

Is it a gleeful and socially acceptable embrace of misogyny and homophobia? Is it people stupidly thinking blindly following something makes them good people? Is it a sociopathic attempt to control others’ language and actions with a “virtuous” shield?

Yes virtual signaling signaling people know how moral a person you are because you have all the right opinions. They don't see it as homophobia or misogyny because when they question that the ideology starts to unravel, hopefully.

I truly don’t understand why we’re at this point for something so obviously untrue sitting on a house of cards.

They have been teaching this in college for awhile, this cultural marxism, then they graduate and go teach at schools and make little SJW's in high school and now k-12. They also go into HR departments at companies and then change corporate culture from inside, like what happened with the American aclu.
It's the destruction and redefining of words to fit a narrative, its backward science, you start with what you want to prove, then bend the narrative to fit that.

I had just watched this and he describes what I am talking about https://youtu.be/MB-WBdLkNUo?t=2552

punishment: https://youtu.be/MB-WBdLkNUo?t=3305