BisexualThis post is a mess.

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[–]RaspberryTea 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (16 children)

I have read that some bisexuals go through what they call bi-cycling (get it?) where they can be mostly attracted to women but then switch to being attracted mostly to men at times.

You're not wrong. Bisexual people can be strongly attracted to one sex or the other (or equally attracted to both) and then a switch gets flipped for whatever reason. Sometimes, that switch gets permanently stuck; sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes, it's more resetting to a sort of default mode of whatever appeals most when you're single.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

But what if this bi-cycle happens during a relationship?

[–]RaspberryTea 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

For me, at least, it never has. It's funny: when I was actively dating a man, I found men more attractive than I normally do; when I'm dating a woman or single, I'm more attracted to women. I guess what matters most is finding someone who's attracted to YOU. (And also not a flake, a cheater, or poloyamorous.)

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

The attraction must be mutual and there has been compatibility. Its more complicated then just finding people attracted to you. I know any person experience stuff differently. But what I meant is, there is the risk of someone going into a bi-cycle and experiencing a strong craving for the opposite sex, especially after a long period, when the relationships feelings get less intense. It's hard to predict , since bisexuals are pretty different from each others.

[–]RaspberryTea 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I can't speak for anyone else since I'm only me. But for me, commitment outweighs craving, same as in any long-term relationship where there can be an urge to stray. Like I kind of said in my edit, maybe the issue is less bisexuality than general personality.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

The urge to stray because of long term relationship and the urge to straybecause you're craving something which is biologically opposite to partner are veryfundamentally different. Not saying bi people are cheaters or anything like that. Just saying this craving of opposite sex, especially in long term relationships, makes the relationship more at risk of breaking the emotional bond. And that's a situation we've been hearing many times. Personality might make you more or less likely to cheat or be monogamous, but overall the urge for the opposite sex of your partner, isn't personality, is sexuality, and one don't really know how negatevely that's going to effect the relationship. That's why a monosexual offers better security for someone wanting to bond for life, all else being equal.

[–]RaspberryTea 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I still don't get HOW it's different. A person who has a strong preference for tiny women might fall in love and marry a tall one, which could lead to "craving" petite ladies later on; a woman who married an older man when she was in her teens or twenties might end up wondering what she missed out on. And there are countless stories of men who dump their wives of twenty years to go chasing a younger woman.

Stuff happens. It happens a lot. Betrayal sucks, but it's one of those things regardless of anyone's orientation.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

An height or hair color is a preferance, sexuality isn't a preferance, is a biological wiring. The woman there is giving the type of sex attributes the person needs, the height non being in a preferance is just a detail. It would be quite the difference biologically craving sex from genitalia and sex traits opposite to your partner. Again, not talking of betrayal, just saying that it significantly increases the chances of relationship bond being ruined, and we heard it tons of time, of story of bisexual breaking up cause they crave opposite sex too much. Even though, as I said, I'm not against dating bisexuals, there is no denial someone who is not biologically wired to need men offer more security of stability long term. That's a fact, not a phobia.

[–]RaspberryTea 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I guess we're at an impasse here since I still don't get it. Take care.