I think she needs them more than I do. That's just my most annoying social circle, for reasons. But they are the ones she would disclose to, if she was offended that I showed concern.

There has to be a plausibly-deniable way to show concern that is read as concern but also doesn't inspire some sort of backlash. I hate what a minefield this is.

But she's also an adult and can tell him to take a hike if she doesn't like being in Topsy Turvy Land with him. But I have a bad feeling he's the sole wage earner. So it might not be that simple for her. She's smart, but also tries to keep her head down and get along with people. Someday she'll get over that. Perhaps he'll help her see the need to do so. :-/

Some days, I wonder if "I'm trans now" is just a narcissistic abuser's trap for their partner, since if she dares to leave she's a transphobe and must be rendered unemployed and homeless and vilified.