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[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

So I'm probably about a Kinsey 5.5. Like, last night my husband and I went to a party and there was a woman present whom I was legitimately intrigued by (husband and I are monogamous so we're just talking about my fantasy life here.) I identify as a gay man but the last time I mentioned this kind of thing you all jumped on top of me and told me I was bisexual. OK, whatever, other than very occasional fantasies my life is indistinguishable from that of a Kinsey 6.0 gay man.

I would consider, out of curiosity, under the right circumstances, having sex with a trans man, but I would never be interested in an LTR with one (mostly because the fact of being a trans man is radically at odds with my core values). But I also don't think that any gay man is obligated under any circumstances to consider any trans man as part of their dating pool.

Point is, sex is complicated and doesn't fully match up with social identity. I'm fine with that as long as you are not using your own experience as a way to coerce others into doing something they don't want to do.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I would consider, out of curiosity, under the right circumstances, having sex with a trans man

I understand this perspective and agree it's still homosexual, though I don't personally vibe with it. I think gay people could have sex with opposite sex partners and not be traumatized or disgusted, in a curious way, if we lived in a world where homosexuality was as normalized as heterosexuality.

There are straight people who have had sex with same-sex partners and enjoyed it not necessarily in a mutual attraction way but more like curiosity of the "opposite sexuality" and "what it'd be like". It's more normalized for straight people and not as traumatic because it can be healthy exploration without as much shame because they can go back to heterosexuality. Gays and lesbians experience so much shame both internal and external around same-sex attraction and often force ourselves into opposite-sex encounters, so it's a more traumatic and complicated thing to navigate.

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think I get what you mean. I saw a conversation a while back on s/lesbians I think about how there seems to be a difference in the level of disgust that individual homosexual people feel about opposite-sex sexual experiences. E.g., some lesbian women feel somewhat grossed out, some feel very grossed out, by the idea of sleeping with a man, but some may have little to no feelings of repulsion, it just does nothing for them.

I totally get why many LGB people want to be clear about the fact that opposite-sex attraction is not something a homosexual person experiences; some homophobic people try to deny that, and further deny that there are any homosexual (exclusively same sex attracted) people at all. However, I kinda wonder if this is a topic on which there just happen to be naturally-occurring differences among homosexual people, which might lead to some trouble understanding each other and relating to each other.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes! I think the degree of disgust with opposite sex partners varies based on each homosexual person's unique experience with their sexuality and past sexual experiences. I'm completely disgusted at the thought of being touched by a man ever again, it makes me recoil just thinking about it and it's partly due to my past sexual history with men and the shame and disgust I carry with me from those encounters. Whereas my ex had casual make-outs with men in her past and they weren't traumatic experiences for her, just not her cup of tea.

This is why homosexuals need our own spaces,to discuss this and other complex issues without having to defend the basic definition of homosexuality.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Complete kinsey 6 sexuality is quite rare anyway. And the almost total homo can be counted in the homo category for practical sake.