Don't find male traits hurtful. I find the sexist idea of thinking feminine means submission to masculine to be extremely horrid. Also how do you know what people do in bed? It isn't like normal for everyone to talk about these things. I'm pretty sure there are not dominatrix het women who like sexual control or who simply aren't strictly passive and submissive and got a sexual relationships mostly balanced and not based on the man having control. Top and bottom doesn't mean passive and submissive, yeah it can mean in many cases but it isn't a given. Top just can mean someone who doesn't like dick in butt, and bottom just can mean someone who likes prostate stimulated. Liking your prostate stimulated doesn't make someone submissive nor feminine. And probably most gay couples are versatile and some don't even like anal. But what I hate in this shitty idea that in lrelationship someone must to be in control and someone must to be submissive, both sexually and otherwise. I mean no problem if people in the relationship like that, but I find it beyond toxic, and would never ever accept such bullshit for any reason.