DiscussionOn Support Groups

submitted by SourDoude from self.LGBDropTheT

The thread about the gay guy who joined a men's rights community after he was sexually assaulted by a woman made me wonder if any of y'all have positive experiences with such communities.

Do they have meaningful discussions about the challenges faced by gay men or women in your respective groups? The local support groups for men I've been a part of struggled to break down the issues we face as men in contemporary society because a majority of the guys that take part in these types of discussions don't want to acknowledge that OTHER MEN are more often than not at the root of the reason we're so fucked up in the first place. Made this post because I guess, I'd like to believe my experiences were just a case of me looking in the wrong places and it's not some reoccurring theme. Thank you for reading.

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[–]DimDroog 15 insightful - 4 fun15 insightful - 3 fun16 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

a majority of the guys that take part in these types of discussions don't want to acknowledge that OTHER MEN are more often than not at the root of the reason we're so fucked up in the first place.

I wonder why men have a hard time coming to grips with this.

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Because it's easier to play 'war of the sexes' then to do actual introspection.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Well, I attended a support group that was intended for people suffering from PTSD so my experience might or might not help.

I think what made my group successful was our therapist, who was a veteran rape crisis counselor who'd been working since the 70s. She had a very organized lesson plan with specific topics covered, and concrete goals she wanted us to achieve (i.e., this week I will do x and report back on how it went.) We did a lot of kind of childish craft activities too, like coloring in mandelas. I actually enjoyed those though 😉

She also did a great job, I think, reining in self pity and a victimhood mentality. Just based on what I've seen and heard in the past few years. She pushed us not to identify with our symptoms and to visualize how our lives would be without them.

The group members didn't do a whole lot of interaction between ourselves. She would have us practice talking about our traumatic experiences with a partner, so I got some gory stories off of the guy next to me who was a retired hospital orderly. I also unfortunately had to hear about rapes and assaults. Part of the practice was learning how other people react and what to tell who, when, and how. It also made me feel less lonely because other people go through hell too.

All in all it helped me a lot, I think because it was so tightly structured and not focused on the individual members bonding. I certainly didn't like some of the people there, but we helped each other anyway.

[–]reluctant_commenter 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

She also did a great job, I think, reining in self pity and a victimhood mentality. Just based on what I've seen and heard in the past few years. She pushed us not to identify with our symptoms and to visualize how our lives would be without them.

A far cry from the currently-prevalent attitude of, "My diagnosis is my identity." :) I'm glad your group was helpful.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Girl me too! I started to see these self-pitying PTSD articles about five or six years ago and they often actively promote the opposite of what actual psychologists told me. Most egregious- "once you're diagnosed with PTSD you have it forever." It's a reaction to trauma and it's treatable! That's the whole point! You can get over it.

Absolutely awful what gets pushed in the media. I often think they encourage mental illness as much as they possibly can.

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Most egregious- "once you're diagnosed with PTSD you have it forever."

I have heard that so many times. Like, so many. It troubles me what else I might have heard about mental illness that is pure misinformation.

[–]reluctant_commenter 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The local support groups for men I've been a part of struggled to break down the issues we face as men in contemporary society because a majority of the guys that take part in these types of discussions don't want to acknowledge that OTHER MEN are more often than not at the root of the reason we're so fucked up in the first place.

Lol, I'm a woman and I have this problem with women sometimes. Some women seem to have a very strong benevolent sexism bias in favor of women.

Anyway. You ask a good question. I don't have direct experience with it myself, but I'm curious to hear others' answers. To be honest, I've been very hesitant to try out local support groups because of the prevalence of gender identity ideology; I've heard a lot of stories of LGB people trying to open up about their trauma and instead having the focus shift to their lack of belief in gender identity ideology, like the lesbian woman in this story.