RantLesbian in the middle of straight girl friends - wanted to cry

submitted by oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]julesburm1891 17 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I don’t know if anyone will get what I’m saying, but I’ll try.

I feel like there are two types of conversations with straight women about men. The first is when she’s just talking about her life with her husband/boyfriend. That’s all fine and dandy. There’s nothing weird there and I don’t feel alienated. I just talk back about life with my partner and move on. I’d venture at least 85% of the conversations I have with straight women are of this type.

The second type, however, is some weird shit where she doesn’t really talk about anything she’s interested in or her life with a guy—it’s all about her existing as an entity in relation to a man or men, generally. I do find that to be not only isolating as a lesbian, but a little weird on the whole. Like, what are you supposed to say to someone who’s debating whether or not a guy would like this sundress or that sundress because she’s really not interested in “idk, just pick the one you like” but also you can’t ever possibly care what hypothetical dress a hypothetical man would like. (Longest run on sentence ever.) Or when someone goes on about how amazingly dreamy Chris Hemsworth (or whoever) is and you’re just there like “🤷🏻‍♀️I’ve only got eyes for Adèle Haenel but why are we talking about this so much.” Tbh, I would feel weird if I was talking to another lesbian and everything was about her girlfriend in that way.

Anyways, I have no idea if any of that made any sense. But, I hope your night gets better because you’re pretty fantastic.

[–]malloww 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, I get what you're saying. It's less like a conversation and more like a ritual that they want you to engage in together but you just really can't. Although personally I always kind of tried to, and generally made things hilariously awkward in doing so. Like picture me quizzing your hypothetical scenario woman about she thinks the man's favorite color or clothing manufacturer is, or awkwardly listing off the most popular male actors from the marvel franchise and saying that they also seem hot, like I'm the mom who learned that my teenage kid likes a certain musician so I went and googled them and memorized all of the related acts that came up in the hopes that I could somehow find a way to relate. It has a similar success rate as that too, tbh.

[–]julesburm1891 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

less like a conversation and more like a ritual.

Yes. That’s exactly it. It’s trying to get someone to engage in some social performance that they have zero interest in and it’s just awkward.

I have some friends who are serious Trekkies and, every once in a while, I get stuck in some loop like that about Star Trek. (I don’t like the franchise.) You either have to option to fake engagement, be an asshole and change the subject, or zone out. All of which suck. But, it’s so much more awkward when it’s about guys. Because I can’t and won’t fake enthusiasm about Chris Hemsworth’a biceps. But it’s also weird for me to try to talk about Adéle Haenel’s hips because the ritual is clearly not about talking about what you think is hot.

Idk. I usually just play with my phone or head to the bathroom during those times.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, you made perfect sense. One thing is women talking about their mundane life with their husbands, other is constantly talking about what they find hot or not about men and who they find more attractive or which they prefer and so on. I appreciate your insightful answer and thanks for the support!<3