Sexuality really is just like clothing, nothing more than cosplay actually

malloww · 2021-11-19T23:06:52+00:00

Those hips and those hands, though, plus the general facial proportions. This is definitely an actual woman who wants people to tell her they can't tell she's a woman.

malloww · 2021-09-16T16:52:24+00:00

From the sounds of it you could avoid seeing them (and the poor actual tall women), but they could still see you and message you even if you've filtered them out.

malloww · 2021-08-27T09:14:35+00:00

Honestly I just wonder what Jen really thinks of all of this. It was pretty clear that Kristen had a screwed up dynamic with her husband even before he got on the trans train, so yeah, while I didn't picture the dude literally trying to morph into a weirdly infantilized copy of her I am not shocked she's going along with it. But I'm trying to imagine how I'd feel if my close friend was in a relationship like this and I was expected to sumach hearing her call herself "queer" and watching this bizarre charade, and not only being okay with it but actively supporting it. Especially if I'd tied my employment to this insanity (did Jen know before they left buzzfeed?). Either she has brain breaking levels of cognitive dissonance she's ignoring, or it must be driving her nuts.

malloww · 2021-07-30T04:19:18+00:00

It's a setting for "can impregnate/be impregnated", so it's not explicitly transing. But it's now en vogue to call sims "masculine frame", or "feminine frame" instead of just male or female. It also kind of cracked me up that when they introduced this feature they put a "non binary" sim in the next game pack - "masculine frame" with a preference for "feminine" clothing, okay, whatever, it's a good thing you can pick any clothes for your sim... but also unable to impregnate or be impregnated. I thought the implication that being non binary is the same as being sterile was definitely interesting. The insane Sims community didn't have an issue with that, though. I guess unsurprising from a group that were less upset that 17 pride flags were introduced but no lesbian flag than that you can't somehow assign neopronouns to your sim (which... How would that work when they don't even speak English???)

malloww · 2021-07-28T17:43:28+00:00

When you already have a demographic that is small, making it smaller is a recipe for disaster for success of these types of apps.

This made me laugh. It's sort of accurate, it is true that maintaining an app for a small demographic is tough. But I promise you, letting anyone with a pulse call themselves a lesbian, especially a bunch of men, is not the way to make a successful lesbian dating app.

malloww · 2021-07-21T09:36:15+00:00

Yeah, I get what you're saying. It's less like a conversation and more like a ritual that they want you to engage in together but you just really can't. Although personally I always kind of tried to, and generally made things hilariously awkward in doing so. Like picture me quizzing your hypothetical scenario woman about she thinks the man's favorite color or clothing manufacturer is, or awkwardly listing off the most popular male actors from the marvel franchise and saying that they also seem hot, like I'm the mom who learned that my teenage kid likes a certain musician so I went and googled them and memorized all of the related acts that came up in the hopes that I could somehow find a way to relate. It has a similar success rate as that too, tbh.

malloww · 2021-07-21T09:09:58+00:00

The easiest way to deal with it I've found of to just subtly redirect people back to themselves when they try to turn the conversation to you and you can't contribute without saying things you aren't sure you want to yet. Like say they're trading stories about guys being dicks to them, if it comes to you just say something like "wow I guess I've been lucky, I don't have any stories like that! But Jill, damn, what Jack did to you was extra shitty, you don't still talk to him, right?". Basically, just demure and then pick someone who seems like they want to keep talking about their life and encourage them to do so. Observant people may notice, but honestly most people won't. And it works best when you're genuinely interested, which I find easiest when I focus on caring about my friends and their feelings rather than the guys - no I really can't relate to a conversation about how hot some guy is, but I can at least appreciate that my friends enjoy that and I can relate to what it's like to be excited about someone I'm attracted to.

malloww · 2021-07-19T17:46:05+00:00

Honestly, even if they were ever called that, and even if somehow they did have some sort of right to reclaim it, screaming it in someone's face while obviously angry and trying to hurt and insult that person is not reclaiming it. Even if an actual gay man did that it wouldn't be reclaiming it! The entire philosophy behind reclaiming slurs is to defuse the negative connotations of the word. That can't happen when you're using it in exactly the same way it always has been.

malloww · 2021-07-16T22:52:53+00:00

My fiance is a non op lovely transbian and I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Sooo... Yeah. This "full blown dyke" definitely likes dick. In fact, if anything what's questionable is whether or not she likes, you know, actual women. She has spent a lot of time talking about liking "femmes", liking dick, and being a top. Also glitter and being a rainbow queer and being a "glamazon", not a boring stuffy old TERF. What doesn't get a lot of mention? Women. Like, actual women, not just "femmes".

I kind of feel like this is a straight woman who is probably into BDSM and dominating feminine men, and has decided that makes her "queer" and somehow a lesbian. Even though she pretty clearly dislikes actual lesbians, and loves dicks.

Edit: honestly, if I were more of a cynic and didn't realize how insane shit has gotten I'd think this was a troll trying to make our point for us. It's just ridiculous. But I'm sure it is real, and even if it's not all the upvotes and weird, simpering replies definitely are...

malloww · 2021-07-16T19:36:38+00:00

My fiance is a non op lovely transbian and I wouldn't trade her for anything.

If this isn't a total larp, then based on this comment, no. She is, however, definitely not a lesbian. Maybe not even bi.

malloww · 2021-06-03T07:17:35+00:00

I live in the pacific northwest and I've come to the conclusion that "coming out" as some still very heterosexual form of "queer" is the new midlife crisis around these parts, especially among women. It definitely seems generally popular right now, but the number of 30-45 year old gender conforming women in straight, long term relationships that I know who have publicly declared themselves non binary or demi or whatever is off the charts. It's a pretty clear consequence of turning "queer" into an opt-in subculture about feeling different and being special, and not just being someone who happens to be attracted to the same sex. The most frustrating part to me is how many of these same people are clearly vaguely uncomfortable with legitimate homosexuality. I'm not close with anyone like that anymore, but it's weirdly hard to avoid around here.

malloww · 2021-06-03T06:48:25+00:00

Oh god, that's like a tweet I saw yesterday that said something like, "happy pride! I'm still questioning but I think demi fits me!". All I could think was, so you're like 90% of other straight women in long term relationships???

malloww · 2021-05-15T17:11:57+00:00

He's talking about dating women, he's the one sending dick pics...

malloww · 2021-05-13T09:27:18+00:00

I dunno dude, based on the history I'm aware of and my personal experiences, gay men are pretty happy to use our labor and treat us like accessories in their lives, just like everybody else. Your argument seems to be centered on how being gay is more important to our experience than being female, but you take that as a given and don't question your premise at all. Yes, marriage and legal rights to medical care for your partner and being treated as legal next of kin is very, very important. So is being able to have a bank account and a job and a life without a male cosigner. And I say this as a person who recently got a pep talk from my male boss (who doesn't know I'm gay because his mind would explode) about how brave I am for being a "single female". Point is, you assume we have more in common with you than with straight women, but you don't seem to have examined that belief at all. Please explain in detail why you think homophobia should outweigh sexism for us. Please explain in detail why you think my partnership should be more important to me than my legal right to existing as an independent human being in my own right.

malloww · 2021-05-10T23:06:02+00:00

Wait is r/latebloomerlesbians full of "transbians" as well? I guess it makes sense, I've not looked.

malloww · 2021-04-13T21:27:09+00:00

Yeah, as far as I can tell LGBT history now means crediting Marsha P. Johnson with every advancement in gay rights ever, and calling George Eliot a man. No thanks.

malloww · 2021-04-13T21:21:25+00:00

The FBI released statistics in November showing a 17% increase in overall hate crimes in 2017. Of 7,175 reported crimes, more than 1,200 were based on sexual orientation or gender identity bias.

The transgender community has been especially hard hit. In 2018, there were at least 26 deaths of transgender individuals in the U.S. because of violence, mostly black transgender women, according to the Human Rights Campaign, which has tracked 10 deaths so far this year.

This is the kind of disingenuous crap that's leading to reduced acceptance in the first place! Hand wringing about how the poor trans are so much more oppressed, but when you check the source they link it contradicts their own argument - 15.8% of bias crimes target sexual orientation, and 1.6% target gender identity. Best numbers I can find put the LGBT population at about 4-5%, with T being 0.6-1%.

Even if you assume that all people saying they're LGBT do in fact experience homosexual attraction (which seems like a stretch given how over represented transbians and gaydens seem to be), there should only be about 8.5 LGB people for every T. Yet there are 10x bias crimes for sexual orientation than gender identity. That means people are disproportionately targeted for sexual orientation, not gender identity. More realistically there's probably somewhere in the range of 4-6 LGB for every T, in which case people are targeted twice as often for sexual orientation per capita.

But no, we can't acknowledge the truth because that might not frame trans people as the most victim-y victims of all time. Instead we have to bemoan the poor trans women, while calling out young Karens who have mysteriously become homophobes, and ignore that their sudden change of heart probably involves aggressive nonbinary and trans "queers" who are mostly heterosexual being insufferable dicks in younger social circles with no pushback allowed.

malloww · 2021-04-08T18:35:30+00:00

I don't think even the most dick loving straight woman wants random dicks appearing while they're using the restroom. There's a reason why the unsolicited dick pic is so universally maligned among even straight women.

malloww · 2021-04-03T04:44:35+00:00

That was from the time frame between the change in the 'bullying and harassment policy change' and the bans. With the previous policy GC accounts would be suspended for much less aggressive things than that comment (which, let's be honest here, was a little more than a simple "fuck off") while TRA accounts rarely if ever were. After that change some GCers decided to test their level of hypocrisy, and to our surprise some people, like this guy, did in fact have action taken against them. I remember it because the person who reported him made a post that was basically like, "wow, reporting actually did something, report accounts like this" (and he did more than just these two comments, but of course he's not going to admit that). I think that's part of the reason the bans happened, the policy change was supposed to shut down GC/LGB activity but the reality was we were mostly already (with the exception of itsafetish) following the rules closely so TRAs actually caught the brunt of its application, to their surprise and dismay. That couldn't be allowed to stand, of course.

malloww · 2021-02-01T19:26:03+00:00

Honestly since Elliot has been transitioning he’s become a lot less attractive to me, and I’m sure others feel similarly. Like he’s still a good looking person, but as he’s transitioning I’m no longer into him. We often like to celebrate the attraction gained or explained when someone transitions, but there is still attraction lost and it too is validating

This comment though... Bro, she put on a hat and a hoodie, and scowls in pictures now. If that's enough of a "transition" to make you go "ew, a man!" then your sense of attraction is very, very bizarre. And you should probably leave your computer more often...

malloww · 2021-01-26T11:51:38+00:00

Assigned male. The one where the kid casually talks about peeing out of his "big clitoris" is a true gem, I recommend it.

malloww · 2021-01-24T06:21:42+00:00

Terfs: If you shave your armpit hair you’re a fake girl

...???

malloww · 2021-01-23T00:26:14+00:00

I do know one person who didn't, but that was a while ago. She was, however, a complete grifter who managed to use her minority identity to avoid any consequences from repeated, documented instances of plagiarism and cheating on exams in the graduate program she attended after Evergreen, and didn't see to have any moral qualms about any of it. My dad used to be a hiring manager at his workplace, and he said Evergreen applicants were always interesting because you had to interview them, their resumes were never really clear. And that 95% of the time they were clearly unqualified idiots, but they were always entertaining to interview because they tended to be quite weird, and that occasionally he'd find somebody who actually was a really unique thinker who was worth hiring. He also said that if I ever wanted to go there he wouldn't waste a cent on it, so I would be on my own (I did not want to go there).

malloww · 2021-01-22T00:04:10+00:00

Tbh I think you're right. In one comment he knows a weirdly high amount about phalloplasty (to me, at least, but I'm not a gay guy, so if any guys want to correct me please do) including a bunch of terminology trans people use, and yet he dated a transman for two months without cluing in at all? And he just happens to have an obgyn aunt who he was discussing vaginoplasty with? Which like... He's 19 and gay, even if his aunt is an obgyn I have a hard time imagining that a gay male teenager wants to discuss vaginas of any kind with his freaking aunt. And it's subtle but he's ultimately pushing TRA talking points, even if he's acting like he's a dreaded "transphobe".

malloww · 2020-12-23T02:31:08+00:00

Did you see the part where he came on to his lesbian BF and she fell out with him and stopped talking to him and he's was like, "she needs to stop being insecure about her sexuality!". All I could think was... Bro, it sounds like she is secure in her sexuality and realizes that it doesn't include you.

malloww · 2020-12-16T01:04:30+00:00

This enrages me on multiple levels...

1) does this twit think women get to just demand drugs and get them without going through the same if not more scrutiny than these guys do, including needing a prescription? One that generally requires a physical exam, not just whining about about how you're really a lady

2) surprise, surprise, bunch of dudes are utterly ignorant of women's bodies and medications intended for women until they want it, and then it's oppressive because they realize something they want isn't only for them. Reminds me of all the incels who were outraged when forced to acknowledge that little girls were the my little pony target audience

3) THEY'RE STILL IGNORANT. What kind of idiot pines for a prescription medication that is intended for a body unlike his and doesn't even know what it is meant to do. It's pretty clear that they believe it's to stop menopause so women can keep having babies (because of course that's the only reason they can think of you'd care about menopause) and not to deal with symptoms of menopause.

Narcissistic, ignorant, self-absorbed assholes to a man, no exceptions.

malloww · 2020-07-26T12:03:24+00:00

You're absolutely right, and the evidence of that is that when Susie was implied to be a lesbian and then later when Theo was implied to be a straight guy she had zero romance plot lines at all. Also evidence - Ambrose started out as very obviously attracted to men. Then his lover gets killed off quickly and that part of him is increasingly erased to the point where I think if you never watched season one you'd have no clue he's not straight. Even disregarding the trans aspect, you are 100% right, they don't want to show an actual gay relationship of any kind.

malloww · 2020-07-26T04:26:59+00:00

Nope, that was implied as a possibility but it was framed as "Susie/Theo is figuring her sexuality out because she's not like Sabrina or Roz". Then they basically shelved it entirely until they needed a way to incorporate the new boy (who is actually a hobgoblin, aka 'normal looking actor-level-attractive guy with green hair') and BAM, Susie is now a gay man.

malloww · 2020-07-24T23:23:14+00:00

The one that got me was Susie/Theo on the Netflix respin of Sabrina. They take a gender non-conforming girl on a show that's clearly trying to be feminist and go, oh wait, she's not a girl, she's a boy! Then there's an entire Mary Sue plotline around Theo basically cheating using Sabrina's magic to get on the boys basketball team. Every other time in the show magic is used for some kind of personal gain there's a consequence, but this time they just ignore it and never address how Theo manages to stay on the team without magic since she's objectively terrible at basketball. And then they use magic to break a kid's bones and suddenly all of the bros are super accepting and the entire dynamic isn't addressed again.

And finally, icing on the cake, this season Theo gets a boyfriend and they have sex. Mind you, Theo is literally just a girl with short hair who wears plaid, no hormones or anything. But the relationship is clearly framed as a "gay" relationship. So they're preparing to do the deed, and she says "I never thought anyone would accept me as I am" and I was like... wut. You are literally, unmistakably a girl. This is a straight couple with quirky senses of style. There is nothing revolutionary about a teenage girl getting with a teenage boy, and anyone who finds this somehow groundbreaking is a complete moron. It was so bizarre, and I've wondered how it came across to people who aren't paying attention to this shit. It must have peaked at least a few people.

malloww · 2020-07-17T19:42:16+00:00

That's the catch-22 they face - they need actual lesbians to validate them, but at the same time the very existence of actual lesbians is invalidating because they're a living reminder of what these guys aren't, whether they're saying it out loud or not. So they need to simultaneously drive actual lesbians out of lesbian spaces and continue to convince themselves that everyone around them are still actual lesbians. I'm pretty sure that's why they overrun every online space, it's easier to pretend that you're talking to real women when you can't see that everyone chiming in about their love of girldick has an Adam's apple. What they don't realize is that it's pretty easy for us to identify them whether we can see them or not, because they're just so.... Male.

malloww · 2020-07-17T06:04:36+00:00

Not sure if it's where OP saw it but it's currently on the front page of me_irlgbt. Along with a crap ton of comments by people who mostly all pretty obviously have dicks already, soooo, not lesbians.

malloww · 2020-07-16T05:29:07+00:00

Uuugh. Someone I follow (who is gender conforming and straight af) made a similar pronouncement today, and I was baffled. Like, literally just not being offended or bothered by someone calling you he or she is now an identity?? To the point where it requires a 'day of visibility' and coming out announcements??? I'm pretty sure that no one has ever been discriminated against for being a straight, gender conforming person who's laid back about how they're referred to...

malloww · 2020-07-11T17:36:51+00:00

Yep, my personal theory was that they needed to wait to ban truelesbians until they could a) avoid the extra attention on what they were doing that came with the bans of the bigger name subs and b) add extra window dressing so it wasn't as obvious to a casual observer that they were targeting any sub that was just for actual women, regardless of the content. People thought it was a reprieve and banning could be avoided, but it was just a stay of execution that was planned from the start.

malloww