LesbianI was expected to smile my way through it all”: A lesbian transwidow tells her heart-wrenching story to Jo Bartosch

submitted by millicentfawcett from lesbianandgaynews.com

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[–]TransspeciesUnicornI sexually identify as a mythical sparkly equine 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Very interesting read. Also pretty interesting to get the perspective of a lesbian transwidow, usually it's straight women.

Also, I feel like this just goes to show that, regardless of what your sexual orientation is, staying just isn't worth it. If your partner comes out as trans, just leave immediately. Especially if you share financial assets, it's better to just get out of there before they start blowing your savings on surgeries or whatever. Starting to compromise on your own identity to prop up theirs isn't fair to you and also seems to be a major red flag, from what I've seen.

I also don't know if there's any data to back this up, but from what I've seen very few couples survive one of them coming out as trans, anyway. Best just to cut your losses.

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Maybe it's because I'm old, maybe it's because I have my own battle scars. But I draw a very harsh and unwavering line with things like this. Love is a two-way street, it is a reciprocal activity, it is always conditional, conditional on both parties bringing something to the table (I'm talking about two adults, not parent-child love). Love is not, nor should be, unconditional.

If you partner changes the rules so drastically that there is no room for you or your own story, then it's time to leave. Period. There is no negotiation on this point.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Gotta agree, this is in no way an “in sickness and in health” situation, wher you are sticking through your partner through adversity. They are radically altering their body to the point of it affecting things in the bedroom, AND also requiring the trans widow to completely alter their own language about themselves, as far as sexual identity, and their relationship.

[–]Ladiablapequena 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Finally. Someone not preaching about unconditional love. I was starting to think I was weird because my love isn't unconditional.