ColonizationComing out as mild straight. Can’t be too spicy now…

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[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

This just makes me roll my eyes so hard. She has been living a very comfortable life as a straight woman. Growing up with peers she never questioned if she isn't straight or normal. She married a guy thinking she's just like anyone else. And then she saw an opportunity to be fucking quirky demisexual. This pisses me off. Even if I never gone through the struggle, which gay people go through while growing up, I still felt there was something wrong with me and I didn't understand if I was a late bloomer and discover I am straight later or a serious condition was eating my brain that I couldn't feel attracted to people at all. I even once just said I had no idea what was my sexual orientation back then and all the peers just looked in confusion (maybe thought I was closeted?). Asexuality being a spectrum is a huge fucking mistake.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think pretty much everything becoming a spectrum is the problem. In some cases, it does apply, for example autism spectrum disorder or bisexuality (not conflating the two but just putting them forth as examples), but pretty much everything else is innate and very strict. Either you're completely homosexual or you're bisexual. Either you're completely asexual or you're het/homo/bi. There's no gray area in sex either. Either you're a man or a woman. Even if you're intersex, you'll still be primarily male or female with some opposite sex organs/differences. There is no in-between.

Why is this so hard for people to understand???

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I used to think the spectrum problem was unique to asexual community and this always bothered me- sometimes I envied how it's more binary for homosexuality or even bisexuality (in a sense that "semibisexuality" was more likely to be ridiculed instead of being put as one of the "subsexualities" of bi). But after having my peak moment regarding trans issues I see the whole LGBT+ turns each identity into a spectrum. The thing is not everything can be a spectrum and asexuality definitely isn't. Once you feel sexual attraction you're just a normal sexual person. Sexuality (in a sense of experiencing sexual attraction of any kind) can be a spectrum but not asexuality.