LesbianLong road to motherhood: Lesbians fight for IVF in Europe

submitted by yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" from reuters.com

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[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

This is an unpopular opinion, but I don’t support IVF, and I definitely don’t support funding IVF, whether it be for female couples or opposite sex couples or single women. Definitely not as bad as surrogacy, because at least with IVF the child will be raised and breast fed by the woman who gave birth to him, whereas surrogacy the child has to do without the presence of a woman whose womb he’s been inside for nine months and he misses out on breast milk, which is the most natural thing you can feed to a human baby. But how is the child going to feel about his father? With adoption, the child knows that his mother and father could not raise him. With IVF, the father accepted money not to be involved in the child’s life. I believe that lesbians can be wonderful mothers, and gay men can be wonderful fathers, which is why I support same sex adoption, same sex guardianship and same sex foster are. But sperm donation and surrogacy is not something I believe in. And by way, I don’t support opposite sex couples becoming parents through sperm donation or surrogacy either. Maybe I’m wrong, and maybe I’ve just never met someone who was conceived through sperm donations or surrogacy.

[–]TransspeciesUnicornI sexually identify as a mythical sparkly equine 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

With adoption, the child knows that his mother and father could not raise him.

This really isn't always the case though. Sure, some kids are put up for adoption because the parents had a bad financial situation or health issues. But there are a lot of reasons why parents who might have been capable of raising the child still choose to give it up. Sometimes you get women from deeply religious communities who do it to cover up the fact that they had pre-marital sex. Women who were raped sometimes give up the child for obvious reasons. Sometimes you just have women who didn't want to be mothers but are against abortion who have the child and then give it up. Sometimes you have parents who already have all the kids they wanted give up "whoopsie" babies because they just don't want any more kids. Sometimes you have single women where the father isn't involved for whatever reason who give it up because the prospect of being a single mother is too daunting. And of course you get teen and college aged parents who give up their kids because a baby would ruin their future plans. (I've heard this is actually one of the most common reasons).

Anyway, point is, it's not always a matter of "could not raise", but "would not raise". I understand why a lot of people here are against surrogacy, but I personally don't see the issue with IVF as long as the mother wasn't pressured into it. I don't see how a kid born though IVF could feel any worse about their father than someone who was put up for adoption because they were a roadblock to their father's career plans, or a shameful secret to their deeply religious father, or because their father was a rapist.

[–]Femaleisnthateful 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think there's a valid argument against assisted reproductive technology which commercializes womens' bodies (surrogacy) and/or commercializes children. I remember when it was considered a right for children to know their biological heritage, hence the opening of adoption records. We've evolved into a society in which a fertilized egg can be created from anonymous sperm and egg donors, gestated by a woman who will not be a part of that child's life, and raised as a Theybie by a MaPa. Not all change is progress.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That scenario you’ve mentioned is disturbing. I’m glad that Switzerland's upcoming gay marriage law includes a provision that allows children conceived through sperm donation to reach out to their fathers upon turning 18. I’m against all forms of surrogacy and gamete donation, but I’m not going to put any effort to get non-anonymous sperm or egg donations banned. However, anonymous sperm or egg donations, as well as the buying or selling of sperm or eggs, and the importation of foreign sperm or eggs should be explicitly banned penalised. And commercial surrogacy should also be penalised, while altruistic surrogacy should be unenforceable, meaning the surrogate mother can keep the child if she wants.

Change happens in circles. It’s almost as if the elites want to use this insidious gender ideology and this soulless corporatism to set everything back 750 years. It’s as if we’re back in the dark ages.

[–]HelloMomo 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think IVF kids should have the change to meet their fathers. Not that their dads should co-parent them or anything that extreme, but that they should be in their lives in a more uncle-like capacity.