Gay Menyaio and the false narrative of escapism

submitted by grammaroo from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]grammaroo[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

i dont think we're having an honest discussion here if we somehow manage to turn them all into victims for this. it's not trauma. it's just a standard part of their sexuality and seems to compliment and be a counterpart to heterosexual male sexuality. Saying it's "trauma" is a way of saying "look away from this very serious underlying problem within male/female dynamics since it's not their fault they eroticize it". It's also deeply tied to homophobia since heterosexual/bisexual women viciously regulate straight men with homophobia. It just goes unnoticed because it's inflicted on to heterosexual men and not homosexual ones. Some of the most homophobic people you'll meet are hetero/bi women and their deep disgust of any humanity within a heterosexual man.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Saying it's "trauma" is a way of saying "look away from this very serious underlying problem within male/female dynamics since it's not their fault they eroticize it".

I don't think that's necessarily true. I think it's entirely possible to say, "trauma is very common in these people's backgrounds" and also hold them accountable for their actions. I do also watch out for people saying "it's not my fault, my past trauma made me do it" though.. that's misleading and can be downright manipulative. But it's worth it to observe that trauma might be a potential factor at play.

It's also deeply tied to homophobia since heterosexual/bisexual women viciously regulate straight men with homophobia.

I'm not sure how common that behavior is among bisexual women.

[–]grammaroo[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

it's very common if you go into bisexual subreddits for men. I think theyre "bisexual" in the most superficial parts of the identity. it's not like they make some complete transformation and psychologically distance themselves from heterosexual women. their understanding of bisexuality is some sort of superficial alliance with lesbian women while simultaneously being incredibly homophobic to their core when it comes to everything else, especially gay and bi men and somehow still think theyre "with" the gay community. They think lesbianism is some sort of "girl power" movement. Theyre as clueless as trans people about what the homosexual community is and how it works.

[–]usehername 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I have never known someone who enjoyed that sort of thing who wasn't deeply traumatized, but it isn't really something many people talk about for obvious reasons.

it's just a standard part of their sexuality

I want to argue with this but it does seem true. I think in a vacuum, away from gendered grooming and the state of affairs between heterosexual men and women, they wouldn't develop this way.

[–]grammaroo[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

it's not that homosexuals are somehow magical angels or superior but they just lack the ability or the space to dehumanize their partners in the same way (although they certainly do try sometimes) because you see your own sex in theirs and if you're a degenerate, toxic homosexual spreading this stuff, it doesnt have the ability to be carried on culturally throughout your group since it can apply to everyone and anyone.

i think it's nice to have those desires and yearnings; to want to feel protected, small, safe and within the palm of someone's hand and look up to them but that also leads to selfishness, narcissism, entitlement and accidently turns you into an infantile, hateful and irresponsible human being. it turns into a dynamic where you dont have to acknowledge the humanity, vulnerability and beauty of your partner when all you see him as is a powerful sexy conquering titan. These highly gendered behaviours arent really a conspiracy of the heterosexual male. Removing them requires a complete, massive psychological transformation of the very core of heterosexual women to the point where they'd almost be unrecognizable and i highly doubt they'd want that. I dont think theyre irredeemable but you see how even bisexuals sometimes struggle to have same sex relations with gays/lesbians and even though gays and lesbians barely talk to one another, their complaints are the same word for word. Heterosexuals seem to sacrifice a lot of themselves but expect a lot back psychologically for doing so. Maybe it's biological? I dont think it's wrong or evil but it's just who they are and it's what nature requires of them? eroticizing power is normal but i guess straight women cant ever imagine themselves to be "sexy" or "powerful" like they see straight men as?