I guess I would ask-- is she forceful about her beliefs?

I think part of the problem/ frustration with gender ideology is that since it is a socially supported system, one almost has to be forceful in order for it to hold any water. If you can't get other people to acknowledge and validate you as your chosen gender, what does it even mean? Could anyone be trans alone on a desert island? You'd just be a person with a body. Maybe you could obsess over it and alter it as you stared at your own reflection but really you need other people to use your pronouns and your new name and complement you or give you a pass in accordance with the gender you're trying to attain.

I know a trans man who always posts the most ridiculous "dude" type of posts that no one I know would respond to if it was actually someone's brother, but bc it's someone showing what a guy they are, anytime they post something like "just having a beer and watching the game!" like a dozen alternative-artsy-lesbian type people write things like "right on, my man!" It's a complete farce as far as I can tell, all done in hopes of helping this person feel they are correctly achieving manliness.

Someone can be religious without external support. They can talk to their pastor or congregation about it and not with you, they can pray or write about it for themselves but consider it private, they can even have a fairly public religious worldview, but agree to disagree about some fundamental issues as long as you're respectful. But in trans ideology, it is automatically disrespectful to not already support the facade, and while this can work when it's a rare thing, it's more cumbersome when it's regular. I used to just use preferred pronouns when they only came up on the odd chance I'd be having a conversation that referenced a tiny handful of trans people in my circle - like bowing your head at the occasional ceremony where someone else leads a prayer.

But if it starts to be the case that everywhere you go starts and ends with prayers, and you're now required to say "amen" and if you don't you're called a bigot, your atheism starts to seem more important - or at least your right to it. And people who aren't seeing any problem are definitely frustrating...